Pagan Humor

Sometimes, we just have to learn to laugh at ourselves....

You might be a Pagan Redneck if.....

1. you think "widdershins" refers to the calves of the bereaved lady next door.
2. you think fetch deer is a command you give yer dawg.
3. you think a goblet is a young turkey.
4. you think Drawing Down the Moon means demolishing the outhouse.
5. you call your coven mates "Bud" and "Sis".
6. you think a Great Rite is turning onto County Road 13.
7. your quarter candles smell of kerosene.
8. you pronounce "athame" as "athaym" and "Samhain" as "Sammon" or "Sam-hayn".
9. you think a "Sidhe" is a girl.
10. your idea of the "Goddess" is the Coors Swedish Bikini Ski Team.
11. your Bard plays the banjo.
12. your 'Long Lost Friend' really IS.
13. you have a flight of plastic pink flamingos on your lawn and regard them as your familiars.
14. your Wand of Power is a cattle prod.
15. your ceremonial belt has your name on the back and a belt buckle bigger than your head.
16. you call the Quarters by invoking "Billy", "Joe", "Jim" and "Bob".
17. you call the Gods by hollering "Hey y'all, watch me!".
18. your favorite robe has the logo of a major farm equipment manufacturer on the back.
19. you have ever harvested ritual herbs with a weed whacker.
20. your ritual staff is a double barrel shotgun.
21. your ritual garments include any one of the following: plaid flannels, long johns, a pistol belt or cowboy boots.
22. you have ever blessed chewing tobacco or snuff.
23. your ritual wine is Maddog 20/20, Night Train or White Lady 21.
24. the instructions to get to your covenstead include the words "After you turn off the paved road...".
25. your altar cloth is a Rebel flag.
26. you use junk cars to mark the quarters of your circle.
27. your Eternal Flame happens to be under your still.
28. you use an engine block for an altar.
29. your High Priestess is your cousin and your wife.
30. when drawing down the moon, you say "Y'all come on down, ya hear?".
31. your pickup truck has an Athame rack.
32. your shewing stone is also your bowling ball.
33. your High Priestess has a spittoon on her altar.
34. any part of your South Quarter invocation includes any lines from any song by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
35. chewing tobacco is considered a sacred herb.
36. part of your rite includes throwing shotgun shells on the fire.
37. the bell on your altar was ever worn by an animal in a pasture.
38. the cakes and wine are done with a Bowie knife, a can of Foster's and a Little Debbie.
39. your coven chose its High Priestess at a wet T-shirt contest.
40. when your priestess says "Blessed Be" in circle, you respond with "YEEE-HAW!".
41. you believe a pentagram is a Western Union message to 5 people.
42. you bought your chalice at the Piggly Wiggly.
43. you buy your incense and candles at Wal-Mart.
44. you call the North Quarter, but what you call it is an inner court secret.
45. you can play the "Burning Times" on the banjo.
46. you carry your ritual sword in your pickup's gun rack.
47. you found out your familiar is an opossum - and still ate it.
48. you have combined Maypole Dancing/Tractor Pull/Turkey Shoot for Beltane.
49. you have cast a love spell on livestock.
50. you have ever called the National Enquirer because you raised a potato that resembled the Willendorf Goddess.
51. you've ever cancelled a coven meeting to watch Pay-Per-View wrestling on TV.
2. you've ever written a spell on the back of a Denny's menu.
53. you have ever refilled your chalice from a keg.
54. you invoke the spirits so that your beer lasts longer.
55. you pray nightly to the god of big tires.
56. you sacrifice BBQ and pork rinds on an altar made of old car hoods.
57. you shoot guns into the air when the priestess says "The circle is open but never unbroken".
58. you smoke Salem cigarettes for the historical significance.
59. you think a "family tradition" is a dating club.
60. you think the Wiccan Rede is good for making twig furniture.
61. you worship the gods Bheer and Nhascar.
62. you have ever done a candle spell for your local high-school football team.
63. you have ever meditated to "Dueling Banjos".
64. you have reached the 3rd Degree but not the third grade.
65. your God statue looks a little too much like Elvis Presley.
66. your Goddess picture says "Miss September" at the bottom.
67. your altar cloth says "Holiday Inn" or "Howard Johnson's".
68. your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the "Hollywood Walk of Fame".
69. your anointing oil smells like Old Spice.
70. your athame is a Bowie.
71. your broom has 4-wheel drive and SC plates.
72. your ceremonial chalice says "Budweiser" on it.
73. your ceremonial garb consists of cut-offs and a tube-top.
74. your circle dance contains the words "dosey-do".
75. your circle dance is a two-step.
76. your coven chose its High Priest at a belching contest.
77. your coven's secret names for the God and Goddess are "Cooter" and "Sweet Cheeks".
78. your covenstead is propped up on cinder blocks.
79. your craft name starts with "Bubba".
80. your familiar can point quail.
81. your familiar keeps mice out of the granary..
82. your favorite Great Rite partner is your first, second and third cousin.
83. your backyard ritual libation is brewed in an illegal backyard still.
84. your favorite painting of the Goddess gives her hair like Reba McEntire.
85. your maiden sweeps the circle with a weed whacker.
86. your most sacred altar items include a velvet painting, a Million Miles buckle and a half-empty can of chaw.
87. your outdoor circle has defunct washing machines for quarter altars.
88. your pantheon includes Yukon Jack, Jim Beam and the St. Pauli Girl.
89. your ritual music has ever included Johnny Cash singing "Ring of Fire".
90. your robes are made out of denim with Harley Davidson patches.

My Sheltie, Cheyenne

Here's my other one. This is Momma's girl.

My Sheltie, Cherokee

This is one of my fur babies. Isn't he a cutie?

Pardon Moi

I'm just playing with this new fandangled program blogger is expounding on called Hello. It allows you to upload pics to your blog. Pretty nifty once you figure out how to use the darn thing.

Da Shroom

Odds And Ends

It's Monday, already?

Olympics are over so maybe I can get back into a decent sleeping pattern again. There's a hope for ya, but I have heard tell how pre-menopausal women have lousey sleep patterns. Lovely.

Republican Convention starting up. Joy of Joys. Is it November yet? Let's get this dog and pony show over with already.

My energy level has been nil lately. I just don't seem to have zest or drive to accomplish anything. This bugs the hell out of me. My to-do list is not shrinking by any means.

FB went to court today on that driving without a license thing. I haven't heard from daughter yet as to what happened there. He told my daughter that if the court asked him why he was driving without a license he was not going to lie to the judge and would tell him "I thought I could get away with it." I truly hope he is NOT that stupid. I swear there are times when that boy-o opens his mouth and chit falls out.

Business still remains slow. I'm not sure I understand why and there are contractors/clients who are wondering the same thing. We cancelled our cruise for this year. Next year it's the time share in Vegas as the Sprout is turning 21.

Speaking of Sprout, the kid lost his checkbook. Sigh. We're not sure where he lost it either. I scryed for it and it says thge checkbook is in the house but not telling me clearly where. I just know I am not asking the right question. Took Sprout to the bank, closed out the old account and opened him a new one. He had a nice little chunk of change in the old one and we didn't want to take the chance of it getting ripped off.

I read in the newspaper on Sunday something that just locked up my jaw. People (parents) are actually trying to sue big corporate fast food companies for making their kids fat. Will someone please give me a break and them a reality check? Hello. The last time I checked it was the parents job to educate and supervise what went into their children's mouths. I don't agree with the cigarette suing either for the same reason. Come on people, you know that stuff is toxic. You made a choice and now that it's killing you, you want to blame it on someone else? Get a life.

I need to get away. All I want is about 2 or 3 days. That's not asking for much, is it? Sigh. Not easy to do when you have to juggle appointments and stuff. My spirit is going to be shredded cabbage before too long.

Still working on kitchen cabinets. I have the doors all painted. I just need to go price handles and paint the cabinets themselves. Then I'll have the other side of the kitchen to do.

Kittens are amok. You have to be careful where you step these days or sit for that matter. You could get a kitten. They're cute as hell, good for a laugh and can take you out of your doldrums.

That's it from the Grove.

*Primordial Scream*

I wish I was an amoeba. Nothing to see here folks, just a single cell scooting along sucking up food particles.

This morning, early, I had to make a grocery run. I was out of coffee. *collective gasp heard from the minions*. I had enough to make a pot this morning but there was nothing for it, I had to go out... to a store. I called my daughter to see if she needed to go also, which she did. So, after Pookie went to school, I went out to pick her and the grandson up. All that went good. We had lunch back at her place, unloaded her groceries, kissed the baby good-bye and I came home. It was around noon or so by the time I got home from the other errands I needed to see to and another hour by the time we unloaded our groceries and got them put away. By then, I needed a little power nap. I had no sooner closed my eyes and the *bleeping* phone rang and kept on ringing. If it wasn't my daughter, it was for Mr. Mushy. Mr. Mushy has Honor Guard practice tonight. They have a funeral to do on Saturday. I swear, the minute he walked out the door, the phone kept ringing... for him! *growl* All the calls were about the Honor Guard practice tonight. I finally called Mr. Mushy's cell phone, got the voice mail, left message, " Your secretary quits for the day. I am setting out the 'no disturb' sign. I have taken at least four, count them, four phone calls for you since you left. *growl*" Not even three minutes later, the phone rings again. By this time I am seriously contemplating throwing the damn thing across the room, at the wall. It's Mr. Mushy and the first words out of his mouth are, " Are there any messages for me?" "Screw you and the horse you rode in on, Cowboy, got that?" "Bye, Sweetheart, I love you." Yeah. Okay.

Mercury Tickles:
*spoken in a whisper* I think I broke my small toe. Last night I ran into a solid oak table leg with my bare foot. I saved the plate of food AND didn't even spill the glass of ice water I was carrying as I fell back into a chair. Troll and Sprout were impressed, nearly got their arses beat, but still impressed. It hurts like a*insert own word here*. Even if it is broken, there is nothing they can do. They simply tape it to my other toe and send me home with a bill. *snort* Yeah. Okay.

*heart stopper* Sometime around four this morning, Mr. Mushy rolls over in bed, which immediately woke me up because it wasn't just simply a matter of him turning in his sleep. I turned on my bedside lamp and asked him what he needed. He looked bewildered as if there was something he was looking for. He also looked bemused. He looked at me and told me nothing. Oookay. So, now I am wide awake, with my heart thumping, and flipped on the Olypmics for a bit.

* a bit of the strange* Daughter was to wake me this morning after she got back from taking Pookie to the bus stop, around 8 am. Around 7:30 am, I heard clear and distinctly, Mr. Mushy's voice saying to me, " Are you awake yet?" My eyes popped open. I thought I overslept. I happened to look over at hubby and he was turned away, sound asleep. I also asked him later if he said it and the look I got was enough. It wasn't him. Oooookay.

By this time, I am not sure if I have discovered the Bermuda Triangle in the Grove or the Twilight Zone.

Stay Tuned.

Of "Worldly" Matters

Ever had a time in your days where you just want to shout, " Stop the insanity and let me off the merry-go-round!"? These are the days that have you hopping from one moment to the next with no time to even think, let alone know if your arse is coming or going. It's a damn good thing my arse is connected, let me tell ya or I would never know for sure where it was or what it was doing. Yes, at least my sense of humor does prevail. It has to, it's a built in survival tactic. So, just to take my mind off things here, I thought I'd take a moment or two and express my thoughts about certain world matters that have been in the forefront of my poor wee mind.

Where's November? I'm tired of all the whining, the bitching and the fingerpointing already. Geez. What I want to know is, why should the President point his finger and say, " You, stop these tv ads. Bad dog."

Condemn them, fine. Use his power of authority to stop them? Give me a break. There's a saying about those who live in glass houses. Get over it. Y'all knew this was going to happen when the path taken was chosen in the first place. If you didn't, you need a better crew, let me tell ya. Want an easy way to stop it? Produce the damn documents and shove them down the throats of those who are crying liar. The Light of Truth cuts through muddy waters. If you're not going to produce them, then, quit yer whining fer pete sakes. You have no one to blame but yourself. You went there, now live with it. And if you don't have evidence to back up your claims that these people are working for the President, it's gonna bite you in the arse in the long run, mark my words. All you're doing is coming off like whiny child who is not getting what he wants.

I know the President has a stressful job and deserves time away from the office. I know it doesn't help that the 'office' is at home, but dayam, how many times is he going back to Texas? Everytime I turn around that man is on his way to Texas. It doesn't matter if it's a working holiday. Isn't Camp David closer? How much money does it take to kick that big ole Air Force One in gear and go to Texas round trip anyway? Does that money come out his own pocket or is it one of those 'perks' the American People are paying for?

And what's up with the Olympics this year? Geez. People getting stripped of their medals because of missing drug tests or testing positive for drugs. Officials offering their opinions that others should be 'noble' and give up their gold medal because of a judging error or judges who offer up low marks and it takes the minions to bully them into looking at it again and changing it, although perhaps not as much as deserved. Still, the Olympics are worth watching this year. The American Women's Softball Team rocked the house! Iraq Men's Soccer Team, an inspiration to their country. There's a taint over the Ancient Games this year in the place of their conception. A pity really.

Abu Ghraib: Okay, so this little scandal goes all the way up someplace in the higher echelons of command. HOWEVER, that does not excuse certain soldiers. That picture of one female soldier who is wearing a smirk on her face as she points to the detainees. Give me a break, will ya? That was command encouraged? A picture is worth a thousand words and I am not buying what she's trying to sell. Someone obviously thought they were being cute, wanted photos to show at home and got caught. Consequently, there is more violence in Iraq than there should be. Perhaps the kidnappings would have happened anyway, who knows for sure. One thing that is clear though, because it has come to light, there are demands for release of the detainees and it is coming with a price detrimental to those who would be helping this country get back on its feet. We have shamed ourselves with the very lack of respect we are looking for. We have stomped on their basic humanity and insulted them by way of their belief system and for what? The blame isn't only in one place. Each and every person involved is responsible, servicemembers and top brass alike. We stand for humanity at it's best. This does not make us look good.

Current Reading Material: American Soldier by General Tommy Franks


We now return to The Grove.

A Few Things I've done.

...and should I even be admitting it? *grin* Something to distract my attention from other things going on in The Grove.


BOLD the things that are TRUE.

I have done the following...

01. Buy everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swim with wild dolphins
03. Climb a mountain
04. Take a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the great pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Take a candlelit bath with someone
08. Say 'I love you' and mean it
09. Hug a tree
10. Do a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visit Paris
13. Watch a lightning storm at sea
14. Stay up all night long, and watch the sun rise.
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Go to a huge sports game - football, rugby, baseball, etc.
17. Walk the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and ate your own vegetables
19. Touch an iceberg.
20. Sleep under the stars
21. Change a baby's diaper
22. Take a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watch a meteor shower
24. Get drunk on champagne
25. Give more than you can afford to charity
26. Look up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Have an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Have a food fight
30. Take a sick day when you're not ill
31. Ask a stranger out
32. Have a snowball fight
33. Photocopy your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Scream as loudly as you possibly can
36. Enact a favorite fantasy
37. Take a midnight skinny dip
38. Take an ice cold bath
39. Have a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. See a total eclipse
41. Ride a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Dance like a fool and not care who's looking
45. Adopt an accent for an entire day
46. Visit the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually feel happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Have two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Have amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watch a wild whale give birth
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip (oh hell yeah and the road trip from hell comes to mind)
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign governments official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visit Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had lunch/dinner with them
66. Visit and/or tour Japan
67. Benchpress your own weight
68. Stolen from your parents
69. Alphabetized your CDs
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sang karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of a room full of strangers
74. Been Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your lj has discovered it
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites around the Mediterranean
87. Taken a Martial Art Class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a wedding reception
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days (For Lent one year)
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Find that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on Television news programs as an "expert"
105. Gotten flowers for no reason..
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Gotten so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed onstage with a famous symphony orchestra
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one night stand
115. Saw Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house (never bought one, but inherited one though)
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried your father (nope but I've buried my mother)
119. Had your pubic hair waxed off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Speak more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congressman
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ....more than once?
135. Run the Golden Gate Bridge
136. "Sang" loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you know someone is looking.
137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Flown an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African Photo Safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper.
172. Had 2 or more healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read the Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read, just to see what all the fuss was about
182. Dined in a restaurant and stole silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
183. ...and got 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospital care
193. Built your own PC from parts.
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own Role Playing Game
200: Been arrested

The Things I Do For Love

Twice a year Mr. Mushy and I gird our loins (so to speak) and brave the wilds of Chuck E. Cheese pizza parlor. Each grandchild is granted one evening of fun for their birthday. Miss Pookie turns 8 years old tomorrow but since she is going fishing with uncles Sprout and Troll and she starts school on Monday, it was decided that tonight would be the night. Mr. Mushy gave up his evening of Olympics to sit and count tickets won by playing the games provided. I am so thankful that the place was not as crowded this year as it was last year. I am so thankful that I only have two grandchildren to provide this fun for. We even allowed Pookie to invite two of her little girlfriends to come along. What were we thinking? Three giggly girls, one grandson on a harness, a Sprout, a Troll and Fertilizer Boy. I had to be totally insane. Well I know I lost my mind because I can't even remember Mercury's tickle for today was and there was one.

I suppose it was eclipsed by FB. I thought we were going to get through the evening with out him and daughter snapping at each other. Well, we didn't AND FB made Pookie cry. It was stupid really. At the end of the evening, everyone was tired, cranky and ready to go home and go to bed. Pookie, who for reasons I'll elaborate some other time, is afraid of balloons. She hates to hear them pop. Consequently, she just doesn't like to be around them period. She thinks they're pretty and loves the idea of them, but that's it. Well, daughter talked me into getting Pookie three balloons for her birthday. I didn't know how Pookie felt about them and I could smack daughter for not telling me. By the end of the evening, as we were rounding up kids and heading out, Mr Mushy gave Pookie the balloons to carry out to our truck. Pookie didn't want them and FB (aka daddy) made her hold them and when she didn't want to, he pushed the damn things into her face, making her cry. All I caught was Pookie crying. Daughter and Troll got on FB about that. I was too busy trying to make Pookie feel better. Why didn't FB simply take the damn things? He feels like he shouldn't have to carry them, after all, they belong to her, don't they. He got pissy. After I got home, daughter calls me and FB says it was an accident. Uh-huh, like the accident that's going to occur when I put my foot in his backside.

One of the little girls was not listening tonight, to any adult. It seemed to go in one ear and out the other. You have to know her mom and dad to understand. Now there's a two part piece of work. Daughter wanted to send the little girl home. I told daughter it was late, let it fly. Send the girls to bed and deal with it tomorrow. Likewise, deal with FB tomorrow. Tonight, everyone is just tired, grumpy and nothing good was going to come of it, better to tackle it in the light of day with some sleep under the belt AND Pookie will be gone. That was the big plus.

My big thing tonight was, it was Pookie's birthday celebration and she was loving every minute of it. One does not make the birthday girl cry and feel bad. It's just too dang bad I forgot my shovel or someone else would have felt bad tonight.

On a lighter note, daughter found the grandson's harness, complete with leash. Grandson was cute to watch all evening in it. He tore off through the pizza parlor with it on and most times dragging whoever held the other end of the leash, with him. Cute. Sometimes he would come back to me for another token, grab the end of the leash, hold it up to his dad or one of his uncles to take hold off and off they went again. I'm going to have to watch that boy carefully. He may start to like that thing too much, if you get my drift. That's humor for those of you who don't know it.

Mercury's tickle( AH-Ha! I remembered):

I went to my bank's ATM earlier this afternoon to take out money for the birthday bash. I inserted my ATM/Visa logo card and was asked to type in my pin number. Okay. I do. The stupid thing tells me, that pin does not compute. Please try again. I push my card back in and try again. Same message. Now, I'm getting irate but it wouldn't do to be caught on camera beating the daylights out of the ATM keyboard. No, siree. I do not want to find myself engaged to Big Beulah. I'm already married, thankyouverymuch. I, like an idiot, inserted my card again. The machine ate my card. Upon reflection later in the evening it dawned on me that I hadn't gone into the bank and changed the password the bank sent me in the first place. DUH! So off I go to the bank on Monday morning to reclaim my card, change the password to one I know and tic off another mark on my calendar, marking the decline of mercury in retrograde. Blech.

The Skillet Minions

So foolish me had this fantasy of living in a household as the only female. I can handle this. Piece of cake. Oh, foolish child. Not to worry, I no longer live under such visions of grandeur. Right about now I want to take a skillet to each and every one of them. I'll not list the very things that have me currently crabby but it's things that seem to happen all the time. The underlining thread being that there's a female in the house to see to their basic necessities. Males! Can't live with them, contemplating living without them.

Mercury's tickle:

ACK! ACK! The new coffeepot I just bought about, what? A week ago? Quit working. I came out this morning to get a cup of coffee (and man was I just ready for a cup too) and there's no java in the pot. It looks like it might have brewed a bit, enough to get Sprout out the door. I grabbed the coffeemaker with both hands and shook it. Yeah, like that's going to make everything all better, right? *eye roll* I did a cleaning cycle on it, checked and rechecked all the components. So, with a whimper and a whine, I did the only thing I could do........ I woke up the hubby. Well, hell, he was going into town this morning to take care of a few things anyway. He just got up sooner than he wanted. *snicker*

He's a good man. He not only took back the coffeemaker and brought home a new one, but he stopped at Dairy Queen and brought me home a French Vanilla Mulatte. He loves me and for that, I adore him. Apparently the Mulatte wasn't enough to stave off a caffeine headache but two aspirin did.

It's Friday and as the only female in the house, I am exercising my right to go on strike. I am not cooking. I will say however, I am not leaving them totally stranded. I stopped by and bought them some bags of frozen french fries, some hot dog buns and I will even go so far as to take the hot dogs out of the freezer. There it is, have a go, boys. If that doesn't suit them, there's the refrigerator and they can be the all mighty males they are and hunt something up for themselves. I hope they just remember the three rules, STOP, LOOK, SMELL. STOP and make sure something of the same isn't already open, LOOK to see if it turning green and fuzzy, SMELL it to see if smells funny. It's a pretty good indication that if it looks green and fuzzy and smells funny, you need to throw it away AND DON'T put it back into the refrigerator!! Oh yes, they have been known to do that.

Now if y'all will excuse me, Sprout just came home with an attitude because his feet hurt. I'm about to go hurt him someplace else. He'll forget all about his feet. I promise.

Saute Anyone?

It's bloody well hot here, has been the last few days and I fear I am wilting. I ran daughter to her doctor's appointment yesterday in the midst of this heat wave and I had the babies with me. I kept the truck running to keep the air conditioner functional. Needless to say we, the babies and I, were a bit heated by the time my daughter got finished with her appointment. Then we put off all else and went to Dairy Queen! By the time all the shopping was done, daughter and children safely home, I found myself exhausted, not from the running around but from the heat.

Mercury continues to tickle my toes.

All my salt water fish are dead. I am heart sick. I had these fish for quite awhile. At this time we don't know why they died, but yesterday one of them was showing signs of stress. Late last night, I found them dead. Heart sick, I tell ya.

The business printer is kaput too. It would be far more expensive to fix it. Fortunately the company we took it to had a used one, similar to the one we had, for sale. The price wasn't too unbearable, but I was hoping to have cleared up the business credit card in a couple of months. Blech.

Annoying little things that go out of their way to add up. I am thankful (hear that universe?), thankful it is all little things. Let them add up. I'll either take a moment to scream, throw something against a wall to watch it go splat ( a tomato comes to mind at the moment) or I'll drag Mr. Mushy off for a three or four day vacation when the finances can withstand it. I'm kinda partial to the latter myself. I'm leaning toward a few days in Disneyland in Oct. For some reason that highly appeals to me. Actually, I would be merely content to just get away from everything for those 3 or 4 days and just veg. Our time share allows us to use other places in other parts of the states or the world for that matter. All we need to do is supply our own food. I can do that. By October, this heat wave should be over and Mercury will have gone its merry way...I hope.

I jokingly asked someone one time, " Do mushrooms melt? " The reply I got was, " No but they saute real good, especially in butter. "

Kinky thought there.

Where Oh Where Has Da Mushroom Gone?

Where have I been for the last couple of days? In a word, hiding. No, seriously, we still have some bad smoke filled days and my sleeping pattern is still all messed up ( I think I mentioned that more than once). Take last night for instance, I managed four hours of sleep. I'd drift off and certain little dog furballs would jump up on the bed and wake me or the black demon cat would jump on my chest. I'm never worried about having a heart attack. The cat will jump on my chest and jump start me one of these days.

My fur babies: OMG. They are all over the place. They graduated from the dresser drawer to the livingroom about a couple of weeks ago. I was using an exercise pen for dogs to keep them all in one place. That was good until one of them learned to climb up the fence and fall over the other side. I should have named her Houdini. All six have names now. Ready for this? The two grayish white ones (females) are called Ping and Pong (thank you Pookie), the two darker gray/black ones(females) are called Tai and Chi and the dark gray ones are called Dee-Oh-Gee (male)( thank you me) and Shitake (female) (thank you Troll). Why did I call a kitten D-O-G? Because I swear to you, that is a dog spirit trapped in a cat's body. You just look into that face and see a 'dog', at least I do. The rest of the family seems to think I'm tilted off my rocker. Some serious karma going on there and I am not messin' wif it.

Pookie turns eight on Sunday and Troll turns 32 on Monday. Mercy, I feel old. Then again, my father called the other day and asked how old I am now. I told him he really didn't want to be reminded of that, but I would tell him how old his youngest son is now. *snicker*

FB: Low profile and being basically human. He is not driving. He started fall session at college yesterday and took the bus to and from. Not too many complaints there. He has a three hour break between classes in the afternoon. Daughter advised him that now he had exclusive time for studying. FB has to make a 2.0 this semester or he is losing all his funding. Time to quite jerking around and get serious.

His brother has gone back to Germany. I do not care for FB's little brother. He came over on Friday when FB and daughter dropped off the kids. He was ever so polite and said all the right things, but it was all false if you get my drift. I hate that. If you have a problem with me, fine, just don't think you can come into my house, ask to use my phone and talk like a 'nice lad' and think I don't see through that. It's so phony, anybody with half an awareness can pick up on it. Don't make me gag.

FB: Oh here we go. Did I mention I have a third granddaughter? Shel is FB's daughter by a previous marriage. No one gets to see Shel much, mores the pity and it's been a long time. FB and ex-wife have joint legal custody but she has physical custody. She and Shel lived in Kansas with ex's new husband, who is currently serving in Iraq, and another daughter (ex and new hubby had together). Shel is one year older than Pookie and they were the best of friends while FB had her. When daughter and FB got together, FB was in the middle of a custody fight for Shel. End of story was that ex-wife got Shel. Now FB and I have our differences, but Shel would have been so much better off with FB. Despite all the tests and visits, the courts awarded physical custody to ex-wife.

Coming from a broken home myself, as does my daughter, we both have encouraged FB to speak more frequently with his daughter, take a genuine interest in her life. Up until now it's been more or less an attitude of out of sight, out of mind. I finally had to get my daughter to quit nagging him about it. He is grown man. She can't make him do the right thing here. So, consequently nobody has had any idea what has been going on in Kansas, until this weekend.

FB got a phone call from the ex-wife's mother-in-law. Ex-wife's hubby became concerned about her and the kids and sent a sheriff out to the house to make sure they were all okay. Nothing of the ex-wife's or the girls' stuff is there. Gone. Nada. The best the authorities can figure out is they've been gone for about 9 weeks now. Apparently ex-wife is with some other guy. She also has a bench warrant out for her arrest, bad checks. She took $5,000 from her hubby's account and split. No one knows where. In the meantime, hubby finds out that CPS (Child Protective Services) was called to the school Shel went to. There was concern about Shel's lack of attendance. Ex-wife told her hubby and the school and probably anyone else that would listen, that FB was dead and she had full custody of Shel. Shel was even signed into school with her stepfather's last name instead of her own. The sheriff on the case was questioned whether or not FB was alive (when sheriff was talking with mother-in-law) So ex-wife's mother-in-law got hold of FB's parents and gave them the run down and the phone number to the officer. FB called the sheriff back, left a message and actually talked to the sheriff on Sunday. FB was willing to do whatever needed to be done to prove he was actually still alive. Sheriff believes him, although FB may have to prove it whenever they find Shel before he can get her.

Now let me throw in what I know about the ex-wife. About two years ago, maybe three, ex-wife gave birth to a little girl, that would make Shel 6 years old. Shel has told FB and my daughter how Shel had to get up in the middle of the night and fix the baby a bottle because Mommy wouldn't wake up (her hubby was at work or away. The Army, dontcha know). Shel changed diapers, fed herself, the baby and sometimes even Mommy. Of course, when 'daddy' came home, he knew nothing of this. His wife was a different person. FB's ex-wife is a real trip and we believe has some mental defect to some degree. She's also a lot of other things too, but I won't go there. Shel is now 8 and we can only assume on the run with Mommy and her little sister. What Shel is like now, makes me shudder. I ache to give her a hug and to tell her she can now be a little girl instead of a care-giver. It's hard to say, without knowing exactly what Shel has been through, how that little girl is physically as well as mentally.

FB is reeling from trying to deal with school and this new issue of finding his daughter. He doesn't know where to start nor do they have the finances to do much of anything. Of course FB and my daughter are going to take Shel. Daughter knows it isn't going to be easy and it means along hard road but she loves Shel and love means doing what needs to be done, pure and simple. Maybe one of these days FB will understand that concept.

Everyone I know in Florida seems to have come through the hurricane well enough. Those close to me on the East Coast have also come out of it pretty much unscathed. We've gotten through the threat of fire once more.

Life, even with all its Mercury-Retrograde complexities, is still worth getting up for.

Shopping? Before Coffee? *GASP*

Six in the morning. My eyes slanted open when I heard this girlish voice tell me she was hungry. Pookie is getting to spend an extra day here. She starts school soon. The six am wasn't so bad. When I fell asleep this morning, I slept hard and deep. Besides, after I cooked her breakfast, set her up with the Pokeman game, I went back to bed for a bit.

My coffee pot gave up the ghost! WAH! I had to go shopping BEFORE coffee. IT'S AN INJUSTICE. IT'S A TRAVESTY against human kind even. Okay, so make that mushroom kind. Geez. Shopping for a new coffeepot BEFORE coffee? Yeah well, I got it done and the new one kicked out some great coffee. I am grateful. I can safely say I am functional now. Tired, but functional.

I am not complaining, ( hear that Universe?) but if Mercury is going to nitpick me clear into Sept., someone better send me a moonstone encrusted, state-of-the-art, high fashioned straight jacket. Can I get shiny silver buckles with that?

Still, all in all, I guess being nitpicked is way much better than the alternative. Bottom line, I'm getting my tush kicked and I'm not even getting a kiss first. *whine*

Take Yer Pick

Mercury Retrograde? Friday The Thirteenth? Take your pick. I mentioned earlier that Friday the 13th is my lucky day. I failed to say that it is just the opposite for Mr. Mushy. He was shot down (in a helicopter) In Vietnam on Friday the 13th. Jumping into rice patties have a tendency to mess up your ankles. Mr. Mushy did not have a good day. The day ended with us in the emergency room at a local hospital. We just got home and here I sit with a plate of cold pasta. I'm starved.

Apparently Mr. Mushy had a bit of chest discomfort during the wee hours of Friday morning. I just love how I hear about these things for the first time in an emergency room. Not enough discomfort to take a nitro. I nearly beaned him for that. I don't think the nurses or doctors would take kindly to that. However, I knew I would get my wee piece of satisfaction a bit later. I have learned patience and it can be rewarding. I keep telling Mr. Mushy that anything that isn't normal, needs a nitro. This discomfort lasted for about 10 min. When he got out of bed this morning, he told me he was dizzy. I made him sit down in his chair and take it easy, keeping my eye on him. He went out, in the heat of the day ( I really should have beaned his boggin) to run errands. Not one peep out of him.

The grandbabies were here today and that makes it spaghetti night. Troll took the grandson home after dinner. I had just gotten the granddaughter a bowl of ice cream for dessert and I was just settling in with my dinner and the opening ceremonies of the summer olympics. Mr. Mushy comes out of the bedroom and heads for the kitchen. The next thing I hear is some pans being bumped into. I ask him if he is ok. He comes out into the livingroom, not at all steady on his feet. I make him sit down. Something tells me to check his blood pressure. I go find the darn cuff and I can't believe it. His blood pressure reads, 81/54. Now that can't be right. I check it again. Same results. Mr Mushy wants to change the batteries. Batteries are fine. He checks it again. Same results. We're headed for the ER., everything else falls by the wayside. Sprout is watching the granddaughter until Troll gets back. I call daughter to let her know we're headed for town and why. We get back into the actual ER about 2 hours later. Boy was that ER full and noisy. So, while Mr. Mushy is all plugged up to a monitoring device, I get a message from daughter. Call her when I can. No problem. I phone her, give her the scoop. Needless to say, she wants to kick Mr Mushy's Tushie.

Gist of it is thusly: Mr Mushy is fine. Dehydration. They pumped in about 3 bags of that solution they always hook people up with in IVs. By the second one, his blood pressure had come up and by the time the last one went in, his blood pressure was where it should be. He got kicked loose with instructions to drink MORE WATER. LOTS OF WATER. He's not dizzy either, just exhausted.

My wee bit of satisfaction? Oh yes. He was hoping there would be no IV. *snicker*. My real satisfaction came from when they pulled those lead pads off his chest. He doesn't have a lot of chest hair, but enough to make that hurt. I was sweet. I used my 'inside' voice. I put my head down next to his while he was wincing and said...

" If you had drank water, like I keep nagging you to do, you would not have had to go through this. " He stuck his tongue out at me. I told him what he could do with that tongue as I rubbed those tiny little bald spots on his chest.

Good Night.

Friday the Thirteenth

Yowza. Just for the record, Friday the 13th is one of my lucky days. Yeah, so I'm a witch and I have a black cat familar too. Damn, that strikes me as funny and I haven't even gotten through my first cup of coffee yet.

Update:

The Bear Incident Fire has continued to move east. It's now moving in a nothern direction and back towards the lake. It's 60 percent contained and over 7,000 acres. The number of structures is over 700 I believe. Injuries are still in the casual range.

The smoke cleared out later in the evening last night and that was a blessed relief. The air quality is marked as not good this morning, but this changes constantly. It is smokey outside today but not too badly. Temps are suppose to reach 103 degrees. Yesterday it got to 107.

The latest is they' re hoping to have it completely contained by Sunday and they are saying some of the residents may be allowed to go back to their homes in certain places today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because the winds are suppose to be between 5-15 mph from the south. Fires makes their own weather, including wind so anything is possible.

For those of you out there that did that disco rain dance, well, no rain and none in the forecast BUT the humidity levels climbed to 60%. I hate humidity but in this instance, I'll suffer it gladly. The dew point was also up.

The fire is sufficently far enough away to allow my worry to abate. I've still got my eye on it. Like I said before, they're unpredictable. These firefighters have been tremendously professional. I don't know how else to put that. They have saved so many homes and put in so many long hours. Some haven't eaten or slept in 24 hours. They're just great. The displaced animals are being taken care of. There a number of horse trailers and county animal control vehicles stationed nearby to handle these animals and people have offered to help keep the animals.

The local Red Cross chapter is hurting for monetary funds. We just had an apartment complex go up in smoke not long ago and they helped out there. Donations are asked for, made out to the Shasta Area because a check made out to just the Red Cross goes to the National Office and doesn't stay in the area. Making it out for the fire victims, while commendable, can hurt. You see, all money directly donated for a certain fire or incident has to be used for just that. The problem is, when more than enough funds are raised to cover the needs of the people involved, that extra money can't go anyplace else. It can't be used for anything other than that incident. So it sits there. I dont know about you, but I'd rather see my dollars go for the most good. After the victims are taken care of, I'd like to see it stay within my area to help the people here. That's something to remember when making a donation to the Red Cross in your area.

On other news fronts, that hurricane heading for Florida. I'm watching that as well. I have friends in Florida, Tampa Bay and all along those eastern states that will feel the effects of the hurricane. I know you've all been through this sort of stuff before. Just be safe. I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts.

It's The Frog's Fault

Phone Rings:

" Hello. "
" Mom, I'm going to kick your granddaughter's little tushie. I swear, I don't know what to do with her. "
" What did she do now?"
" There was water on the bathroom counter and floor. It wasn't there before. I asked Pookie if she made that mess. She tells me she didn't do it but she was the last one in the bathroom. I asked her to clean it up and she says, 'Who? Me?' I said, 'No, the frog in your pocket.' "

Apparently daughter went off to do something and few minutes later came back, leaned up against the bathroom counter and her shirt became all wet. She calls Pookie. Pookie comes in to see what mom wants.

" Pookie, why is the counter still wet? Didn't I ask you to clean it up? "
" No Momma, you asked the frog in my pocket. "

Overcoming

I grew up in this house. I have lived in it, off and on, for 39 years. It has been in my family for a mere 2 generations, mine being the second. Still, it's home. In all that time, given my surroundings here in Northern Calif., we have never been threatened by wild fire. That all changed five years ago. We woke up one morning to the news and huge clouds of black smoke to the north. Apparently somebody had an illegal campfire that got out of control. That fire turned into a huge hand with long reaching fingers, one of which grabbed hold of my back fence to my backyard and thanks to firefighters, a neighbor and the Lady's Grace, my house still stands today. We had to evacuate. We loaded the vehicles, loaded the horse and met our friends with a motor home at the rodeo grounds. It was awful. None of us tried to think about it. News came sporadically. Before we knew it, it had blazed it's way up the dry creek bed at the back of our property. We kept calling the house and just knew that if the answering machine kicked in, the house was still there. At least until they cut the electricity.

Now we're standing on the brink again. Waiting. Watching. Praying. Our life revolves around the news reports and being on the lookout for someone on a motorcycle who will come down that road and tell us to leave. Believe it or not, that fire is raging through an area where it started those five years ago. Life is in limbo. We try to carry on, do what we ordinarily do, but it's not easy. Mentally, I am preparing my lists of things that have to be taken at a moments notice. Where all the legal documents are, where are the traveling cages for the small animals.

I find myself going outside and looking toward the north where now I see that glow in the sky again. We're better off this year than we were back then. We have insurance. We have tried to keep the dry grass low. We have a new roof on the house that has fireproof shingles. Even as I type this the sprinkler is making it's watery arc out back. It may not stop a raging wild fire but it sure as hell is going to slow it some.

It's going to be a long unrestful night of worry. There's no telling what the dawning day will bring other than hot weather, predicted to be 103 degrees. For now, I am very grateful that the night is cool. I know that is going to help those fighting this fire. I also know with the dawn comes the helicopters and tankers, bulldozers and more brave, professional firefighters.

It's not easy to overcome fear, worry or helplessness. I do what I can and pray for the rest. I know prayer works. Many people were praying for our safety five years ago and I truly believe it saved us then.

I called my daughter and FB about the fire. FB's parents live out that way. Their house is between us and the fire. They lost their original house to that fire of five years ago. I wanted to make sure his parents knew what was going on. Back then, they weren't around when the fire whipped through. FB said to me, " But it's not even October yet. " It took me awhile to figure out what the sam hell he was talking about. The fire 5 years ago happened in Oct.

Someone remind me to smack that boy with my shovel.

Mercury Retrograde and FB Saga Cont.

Now that didn't take long did it? Which should I subject you to first? FB or Mercury? Maybe they're joined at the hip? Am I paranoid? Naw, can't be. *twitch*

One for Mercury: I was almost to my daughter's house to pick her up and take her to an appointment when the cell phone rang. The gist of it was that her appointment was cancelled. Marvelous. No worries. She had errands to run so we took care of those and rounded it out by having lunch together. That's where I learned more about FB. That's to follow.

Two for Mercury: We have a couple of married friends in their 70's. I met them when I first started square dancing years ago. They are just wonderful, loving people to know. She calls me her computer guru. LOL. For all I know about computers. I'm just glad I have the answers she needs and when I don't, I'm sending a desperate email to my writing partner who also is MY computer guru when I need one. ANYwho, they've been MIA for the past couple of months and I have been worried. It is not like her to even go without answering my emails even briefly. I was going to call her last Friday and she got to me first. We chatted on the phone and made plans to meet for dinner tonight. While I was out today she called to let me know they had to cancel as family came down from Oregon to visit. I know they are disappointed as we are. We'll try again later. At least I know they are both okay health wise, just busy.

Mercury is just nibbling at the moment. I hope that's all it does until Sept. when it changes again. However, I have a feeling you'll be hearing more about Mercury before it's over. Lovely.

FB: My jaw is tightening again just thinking about him. I came home today just looking for something to throw against the wall as hard as I could. I have to congratulate FB. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

The hubby asked me last night as we were getting ready to retire for the evening if FB has driven the car yet. I told him not that I knew of. I figured since he got pretty shaken up by this last episode of his, he wouldn't even try. Hubby warned me that FB will do it, sooner or later. Yeah, well, sooner came before I expected it. After FB and his kid brother got back into Calif and to their aunt's house, they decided to bring both vehicles back, their parent's jeep (the one kid brother went down in) and kid brother's new vehicle. Yep, even though kid brother knew the whole story he had FB drive home one of the vehicles. But FB was careful. He did the speed limit all the way home. Give me a break.

Sometime since FB has been home on Friday until today, he and the daughter have been conversing and FB is still carrying on how he can't understand why we (translation: me) made such a hoopla about him staying behind to take daughter to that one medical appointment since I am now taking her to all of them. Oh, and you're going to love this one. If daughter's family (translation: us) had been more supportive and willing, he would not have been driving and gotten caught. May the Lady keep me from beating him over the head with my shovel. And the creme ala creme? He tells daughter that maybe now we'll understand how he feels about having to take her everywhere to her appointments (running around etc). I looked my daughter directly in the eyes and told her that I had not the foggiest idea of what he is hoping for. She's my daughter, those are my grandbabies and I love them. I will do what needs to be done, because it has to be done, period. If he thinks there is going to be some sort of resentment towards her or those babies, he is sadly mistaken. If there is any resentment to be found it lies with him for being a jackass in the very first place. No one held his foot on that gas pedal (twice) and no one told him to do what he did to cause the accident, no one got that parking violation at the college for him. If he hadn't done any of those things, I would not be here writing all this now. I wouldn't have to be seeing to his responsibilities. Oh yes, he threw that back at me via my daughter. Here I was so all fired up about him carrying out his responsibilities and see what happened? What I told my daughter was, that if the jackass, upon first learning he had a suspended license, had made the conscious decision not to drive any longer until he was legal again then I would have seen to his responsibilities where daughter was concerned. However since he had decided to drive to school, drive to his parents, drive to his friends' houses, he might as well drive his wife to her appointments. I'll be damned if he is going to pawn off on us the things he feels are an inconvenience to him and just don't suit his schedule. Hell, I don't even let my own kids get away with that. What in sam hell makes him think he is special?

FB called his ex-tutor to see if she would take him down to sign up for his college classes. She didn't let him off the hook easily either. He got the third degree from her. Why did he wait this late to sign up? Why didn't he sign up when he had the priority? Why can't he drive himself? He had to tell her everything. I just know that didn't set well with him. FB wants so desperately to be the guy who makes no mistakes. He hates being shown in the wrong, for anything. There's always somebody else, if not to take the blame, then to be the reason why he did what he did. And if by some chance he says he's responsible, it's all just mere poo slipping from his lips.

It has become totally apparent to me that FB appreciates nothing we do for him. Anything I get from him by way of thanks is obviously lip service. So, here's the deal and daughter has relayed the message. Nobody in this family is going to do anything for him. If he needs to go somewhere, do something, then he needs to find his own way. We will do what we can for daughter and the kids only. Yes, it relieves him of seeing to some of his responsibilities where they are concerned. Unfortunately, there is not much for it. Dragging the baby around by public transportation in this heat and seeing to what needs to be seen to and make it back before my granddaughter gets out of school, is near impossible. So, I will do what needs to be done and FB will just have to turn elsewhere for his support. He's burnt his bridges here.

FB: The Continuing Saga: Coming Soon

So, I called the daughter's yesterday and who's voice comes over the phone but FB's. Yep, yep. He's home. I just had a question for the daughter so the call wasn't long. Part of me is relieved he's back. He can now see to his family. I'm proud of the daughter though. She did a fine job in his absence, which I wasn't all that surprised about. She can do anything when push comes to shove. We'll just have to see what kind of crap comes burbling to the surface once he settles back in and can't just get in the car and go any place. He had a hell of a time the last time that happened. It was back when the car was broken down. Instead of recognizing it for it was, he decided to find fault with his kids and his wife. Daughter didn't put up with it then and I doubt she'll put up with it now.

FB knew when he left for the week and a half that registration for fall courses at the college were going to take place. He knew he needed to be here in order to get the classes he wanted. However, he decided that going with his brother was far more important. Right now, his schooling provides the majority of their income. He gets a small disability payment from the V.A. Their rent is currently seen to through a state program. Daughter is filing disability paperwork for herself because of her medical condition(s).

If he thinks I've been hard on them (him) lately, he hasn't seen anything yet. He needs to learn something about himself and learn to take responsibility for his actions, not find excuses and figure out that life and people don't owe him anything. The only way he is going to learn that is if people quit enabling him to believe that. It'll mean things get rougher for my daughter and my babies and it's a fine line for me to walk but I need to. I have to. My daughter understands, bless her. She knows it's her choice to stay and live with him. I may not like it, but sometimes, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do and it's not always nice.

Colon Cancer

When my husband was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer two years ago, I felt like the rug had been jerked out from under me. My world became, at most, shaky. I went numb for a few days. I said all the right things, gave all the right encouragements, behaved in a 'normal' manner. Inside, I was scared. I didn't want to lose this man that had taken me a lifetime to find. I didn't want to lose the security I had come to know and appreciate. I didn't want the lives of my loved ones turned upside down yet again. The thought of what he and I would have to face, terrified me. I knew I couldn't lose it. I knew I had to be strong and be a constant reminder to him of the things worth fighting and living for and that together, no matter what the odds were to become, we would do it together.

In the course of our relationship there have been times I wanted to choke the living daylights out of him and I'm sure those times are not over yet. He is one of the most giving, loving, caring human beings I know in this world. He has his faults and his problems, so do I, yet we persevere. We've never truly had a 'fight'. We have growled at each other. We have watched the other blow a cork now and then but all in all, there is the love that binds us.

During times of stress, my children have been wonderful. They have pitched in and done what needed to be done so that I might devote my attention to the situation at hand. During these times those handful I call truly friends have been there for me to lean on, to draw strength from, to make me laugh and forget my worries at least for a moment or two. I am truly blessed.

In the last two years, as each test comes back positively, my world gets less shakier and I can feel that rug inching back under my feet again. Today went a long way to restoring those things as well. Today marked the beginning of the third year and his colonoscopy came back clear. The doctor told me that he doesn't believe the cancer will ever come back. I do thank him for that. Does that mean I will be less diligent in my observations of my husband's daily routines? No. Cancer is a rotting, canker sore that raises its ugly head whenever it damn well pleases and to hell with the people it brings pain to. Does it mean I will relax a little now, thank the Lady for the blessing bestowed upon me and enjoy more what is set before me each day? Yes. I can never dismiss cancer, because when it dismisses us, someone has left an aching gap in the life of another.

One day two years ago, cancer knocked on our door and we had no choice but to answer it. Today, it no longer lingers here, but I see its shadow out there. I'll be watching.

Where Am I?

Oh mercy, what day is this? Monday if my calendar isn't lying. Mercury in retrograde. Oh goody. That's sarcasm for those who don't perceive it. If this past weekend is any indication of the ride I need to see out, it's not a pith helmet I need and a deeper foxhole isn't going to help either. I'm leaning toward a stout rope with a big fatty knot on the end, one big enough to sit on and wait out this retrograde. *sigh*

Saturday. Most of the day I was truly a 'shroom, given my Friday, that would be understandable. Saturday evening and part of the early morning of Sunday, Mr. Mushy and I got into it. Needless to say, I did not find myself calm enough to sleep until around 5 am. Sunday dawned way too early for me and we were due over at daughter's house to take care of a few things for her, boxes to go into storage (oh yea, because FB will take forever to get around to it), curtains to hang (we won't go there) and to just spend a wee bit of time with the babies since they haven't gotten to come over until today that is. I had calmed down by Sunday morning, but upset was still my middle name, that is unusual since I seldom ever carry anything of that sort over to the next day. It would serve no purpose. Today is Monday and there is still a purpose, but not the emotion that was raised. You have seen me write the word 'drained' more times than I like. Yet, there is no other word that seems to fit how I feel at this moment. Still, tomorrow will come and I will do what needs to be done because it must be and some small part of my mind will whisper, "How much more?"

Someone very close to me once said, " You just need to be cuddled. "

I'll second that.