Friday In the Grove

Ever had one of those days that just make you smile and internally you feel really good about the day and how it's going? Yeah. That was Friday.

The day itself started off as one of those, " what the hell?" kind of days. Mr Mushy found evidence in a file that we are owed more for G&L (the company we co-owned and is now closed) than the secretary-bookkeeper stated. Mr Mushy brought up to his ex-partner yesterday and the ex-partner is planning on making it right. He also told Mr Mushy, quite briefly, being unable to freely talk, I think, that he had to 'get rid of' his secretary/bookkeeper. Well, like that's any surprise to me. However, I am curious as to how this came about. Mr Mushy is over there now talking with his ex-partner and picking up a certified check for the remainder of the money. The money is a grace. It will make my life easier as we head toward the new season. Last year was horrible and worst of it is, we didn't have a clue. It started out promising as usual and then *blam*. Talk about blindsided. So this year we'll go into the new season cautiously and carefully, just to preserve what sanity I am currently clinging to.

I got Pookie and Topper yesterday. It's been about two weeks since that happened, maybe longer. I lost track while being so sick. Those two are what made the day. I missed them. We had a wonderful day and evening together. I played Pokemon with them, laughed when the puppies 'dog-piled' Pookie and a host of other moments that just made the day sigh with pleasure. Today is a lazy day. We're taking our time with everything from eating to actually getting dressed. Pookie is in the shower as I write this. She's a water sprite so I imagine she'll be in there for about an hour or so. Then we're going to bake brownies before she has to go home.

Yep. Life is a-okay.

Only For Love

The phone rings early this morning and I groggily, blindly reach out a hand to fumble around on the headboard searching for the blasted thing. I punch the talk button and I hear this wee voice say:

"Meh-Meh?"
" Hey, Hi there, Topper."
" I did 2 poo-poos. "
* a long pause by me*
" You did?"
" Uh-huh. "
" Good Boy. "
" I wiped my butt by myself too."
*another long pause by me*
" You're getting to be a big boy. "
" Uh-huh. Love you"
*kissing sound by him*

The phone is handed off to my daughter who proceeds to tell me that Topper has been bugging her for over an hour because he wanted to talk to me. At which point, I stopped the conversation and asked if I could call her back when my brain became engaged in the art of living. She's such a good daughter. She let me go. I promptly hung up the phone and went back to sleep.

Two cups of coffee and several hours later, I called back....

" Did Topper call me earlier and tell me about his potty habits of late?"
" Yep. "
" Okay. "

I love that boy, but he sure can mess with my head.

Email

I sending along this email that was forwarded to me. It speaks for itself.

----- Original Message -----

This is from a Marine Gunnery Sergeant in Iraq.

Just wanted to write to you and tell you another story about an experience we had over here.
As you know, I asked for toys for the Iraqi children over here and several people (Americans that support us) sent them over by the box. On each patrol we take through the city, we take as many toys as will fit in our pockets and hand them out as we can. The kids take the toys and run to show them off as if they were worth a million bucks. We are as friendly as we can be to everyone we see, but especially so with the kids. Most of them don't have any idea what is going on and are completely innocent in all of this.

On one such patrol, our lead security vehicle stopped in the middle of the street. This is not normal and is very unsafe, so the following vehicles began to inquire over the radio. The lead vehicle reported a little girl sitting in the road and said she just would not budge. The command vehicle told the lead to simply go around her and to be kind as they did. The street was wide enough to allow this maneuver and so they waved to her as they drove around.

As the vehicles went around her, I soon saw her sitting there and in her arms she was clutching a little bear that we had handed her a few patrols back. Feeling an immediate connection to the girl, I radioed that we were going to stop. The rest of the convoy paused and I got out to make sure she was OK. The little girl looked scared and concerned, but there was a warmth in her eyes toward me. As I knelt down to talk to her, she moved over and pointed to a mine in the road.

Immediately a cordon was set as the Marine convoy assumed a defensive posture around the site. The mine was destroyed in place.

It was the heart of an American that sent that toy. It was the heart of an American that gave that toy to that little girl. It was the heart of an American that protected that convoy from that mine. Sure, she was a little Iraqi girl and she had no knowledge of purple mountain's majesty or fruited plains. It was a heart of acceptance, of tolerance, of peace and grace, even through the inconveniences of conflict that saved that convoy from hitting that mine. Those attributes are what keep Americans hearts beating. She may have no affiliation at all with the United States, but she knows what it is to be brave and if we can continue to support her and her new government, she will know what it is to be free. Isn't that what Americans are, the free and the brave?

If you sent over a toy to a Marine (US Service member), you took part in this. You are a reason that Iraq has to believe in a better future. Thank you so much for supporting us and for supporting our cause over here.

Semper Fi,

Mark
GySgt/USMC

What's My Element?

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing. You could be a champ at chess or Survivor. Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize. On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you. You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through. Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

What's Your Element?

Communal Happenings

FB lost his financial aid. The part of this mess that is his fault is listening to incompetent people in the first place. Lesson Number One: If it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't and one should not believe everything they hear. Not everyone who works in a position of knowledge, actually has the knowledge. They rather give one a piece of made up information rather than admit they don't have the answer.

When FBI's mother's was on her deathbed, he was in the beginning of finals. He certainly was having a hard time concentrating so he went the financial aid office and asked some questions especially since he and his family depend on that aid very much so. He was told that if he took incompletes for the classes, he would not lose his financial aid for the rest of the year because he had been already approved. However, the following year would affect him. Well, no aid check has come in. Upon further investigation, whoever told him that crap was wrong. He can appeal it and will, so all is not exactly lost yet. They're scrambling. Daughter had to borrow my cell phone for the time being in case their phone gets shut off. Luckily, FB's brother is going to wire them $700.00 to hold them over until his GI bill money comes in sometime after the first.

I am so proud of Pookie. According to her teachers, she is the most liked child in that classroom. There is not one classmate who does not like her. The teacher has used that by letting Pookie help the kids having a rough time getting through class. Pookie is a child who loves to be able to help. It makes her feel good and bolsters her self-confidence. She is also on an accelerated reading program. The girl just loves to read and takes to it like a duck takes to water. She's in the top percentile of her class in all her academics. She loves learning. FB pushes her and when he pushes too hard, Daughter acts as the buffer. So it equals out. The fact that Pookie comes over here every week gives her an opportunity to simply relax and be a spoilt kid *smile*.

Topper. Oh dear.What can I say about him and how can I say it delicately? *chuckle* Let's see if I can give it a whirl. It's funny as heck and makes me grin, but then, my sense of humor is warped by any standard.

Topper has become intimately familiar with a certain part of his anatomy, to the point that he makes it hurt. Because he becomes so uncomfortable, he wants to take it out where it is less restricted and therefore, it hurts less. Daughter called me up the other day to ask me what she could do about that boy. He doesn't care where he is, if he is uncomfortable, he wants to make himself comfortable but Mom is having a hard time getting him to understand he can't do that in public places. She doesn't want to give him a complex about his body either. I fear I wasn't much help because by the time I got done laughing, I was gasping for breath. It's a situation I never truly had to address when my two boys were growing up. My whole thing is, if he didn't play with it in the first place, he wouldn't have that problem. Now make a three year old understand that. Gods. Better her than me.

Mr. Mushy went to his first group meeting tonight. He came in and talked to me first. He either wasn't sure he should go or he was sounding me out about it. I asked him how he felt about it and he felt he wanted to go to see if he would fit in. I told him he should go then. I am up for anything that will help him. I would like to see him let go of all that pent up anger. I would love to see him not try and revert back to a way of being that is comfortable for him but is definitely not healthy. When he falls back into that state of being, it's because he's comfortable with it. He knows what the response will be, how to respond, therefore, he's comfortable. He knows in this state of being not much, if anything, is expected of him and so there is no stress. I hope that makes some sort of sense without getting explicit.

Dark Towers is still in it's beginning growth. We're in no hurry. I rather build slowly and grow than to burn brightly and crash. My mind is whirling with all kinds of thoughts for stories. I just haven't had much oompah to sit down and write. When I do have the desire to write, I don't have the energy. Life away from the computer is sucking me dry and I know it. I am also helpless to stop it at the moment. It's just one of those things I need to ride out and like the surf, it will ride out. I have priorities and online time is not number one. I get there when I can, give what I can and help promote whenever I can. Maybe for my birthday next month I'll use that massage certificate Mr Mushy got me for Christmas. It seems I have to make the effort, a strong effort, just to get anything done.

The puppies become 6 weeks old next Tuesday and they're more than ready to go to new homes. I still have two available for adoption. They have been so much fun to watch. Crazy. Troll's pug is going to the vet next week to get fixed. Yea. My cats start going in next week too as does my male sheltie(Cherokee aka Bubba). We found out he's too tall to meet the AKC requirements so we will not be using him for stud even though his pedigree is outstanding. There's just too much of a chance that the pups he would sire would be too tall.

It's raining out, pretty hard too. It's suppose to stop tonight, be clear tomorrow and rain again for two days before clearing up again. Now that I am feeling better, I am looking forward to getting outside to putter a bit. That may clear up some of my lethargy. I hope so.

Las Vegas. I'm looking forward to it.

A Woman's Lament

How did this come to be? I mean, did the Divine flip a coin or something? And I thought there was such a thing as equality. How did it happen that woman got to be the one to carry and bear children and after all that is over, how come she gets stuck with a thing called menopause? And how come after all we have to go through to be the ones to supplement the human race, menopause isn't just simply a phase where everything just sort of fades into the sunset? Why the hot flashes? The night sweats? The panic attacks and a few other things tossed in because I'm beginning to think the Divine has this odd sense of humor. Women have enough of a big role without having to cope with all these other things as we get older. Hell, even going into puberty wasn't this bad. Okay, cramps and bloating are right up there, but compared to this menopausal crap, it's nothing. And how long does this crap last? Hello. Stop the merry-go-round, I want off, NOW. Geez. I'm freezing poor Mr. Mushy to death. There's no telling what my mood swings are doing to him, but he's hanging in there.

And while I'm on the subject of a woman's lament... let me further ask.. what's up with these cramps? Now I could understand it if I had all my parts, but I lost the main vessel about 15 yrs ago. The doctors kindly saw fit to leave me with my tubes and ovaries, but for what??!! What possible good are they other than to provide some hormones? Hormones, I might add, that are currently diminishing. The only thing I seem to get are cramps once a month. What the hey. I need those like I need a new hole in my head.

I have come to the conclusion that women are the Divine's gift to men. Yep. We were put here to baffle, frustrate, totally keep them unbalanced and wondering what they ever did to deserve this.

Come Again?

Most of you have either read or heard about the young lady employee who was kidnapped from a Wal Mart parking lot and found about 400 miles away, by the roadside, dead. Well, our news station interviewed a few female employees here at our Wal Mart and I couldn't believe what I heard. They all said they weren't scared or worried about leaving the store in the dark after work, that they all felt pretty safe. One even went on to say that she felt safe because Wal Mart had video cameras in the parking lot.

HELLO! What damn good is a video camera towards protecting your safety? Well and fine that it is good for indentifying the perp and the odds of THAT saving your life is minimal in my opinion.

We live in a small town by most standards. This should not make an unescorted woman feel safe at night walking to her car, in the dark. All it takes is a split second, one moment and your life can be over. Hell yes, you should feel afraid. It makes one more cautious as well attuned to things and people around her. The fear shouldn't be allowed to control her but she damn sure should use it to her benefit.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What am I? A dinosaur or something? Life isn't like it use to be, where someone can feel safe walking their streets after dark, unescorted. My daughter caught hell whenever she left without an escort, even if it was just a walk to the mailbox about a quarter of mile down our dirt road and back. If the boys or someone didn't go with her or she wanted some alone time, she damn well took the wolf cross, Windsong. That dog gave everyone pause. One was never sure what she would do. If she felt you weren't a threat, she'd lick you soggy. Heaven help you if she sensed something wrong with you. The threat was clear and obvious, don't come close.

All it takes is one unguarded, unaware moment and your life can change drastically forever. Paranoid aren't us, but neither is being foolish and downright stupid. An ounce of caution is worth its weight in gold, especially in these times of turmoil and sickness.

Think about it.

Recap for Sunday

Da Shroom, aka, yours truly, could no longer ignore, put off or pretend that a trip in town was not needed for household items such as paper towel, toilet paper, laundry soap, etc, etc. The male members of the grove would make due without everything but the toilet paper. Sometimes, I just want to tell them to use newspaper. Ha!

I got after my Daughter while I was on a roll. The chit. I had an idea where they were, but I still needed to get after her for not letting me know and making me worry. Yesterday at different time intervals, I called their house and got the answering machine. I called at 2045 hrs when I knew they should be home... answering machine. This morning when I got up and was reading the Sunday paper, I called again.... answering machine. Now it's been damn foggy every night for a week. FB has had too many accidents for me to be comfortable with. So, one last phone call to her father-in-law's. Ah-Ha! found the wench. So, she got the I'm-glad-you're-okay-now-I'm-going-to-beat-your-butt-for-worrying-me speech. I felt much better. She was a good girl and apologised. it was late she said and didn't want to wake me. I rather be woken up (like sleep and worry are good bedfellows) and have ease of mind knowing they were all okay.

No movie Friday night. Mr. Mushy and I got into a bit of a spat and I rather go see a movie and enjoy it than just go because I'm in a snit. We'll try it again one of these days soon.

Last night, Mr. Mushy damn near punched me. He didn't mean to. It actually wasn't aimed at me. I was awake and able to pull back a safe distance when it came along. He actually pulled back when he realized what he had done. It was a nightmare. Apparently he has had a lot of angry dreams lately. Transference. He is frustrated with things today and so he is dreaming about the things, the old things, that gave him so much grief. What triggered it was he had accidently brushed my hand with his fingers and thinking in his dream it was someone else, drew back to throw a punch. About the time his arm drew back, he woke up and stopped. When I asked him about it this evening, he couldn't remember. He didn't even know he had done it.

Mr Mushy has networked and found a few guys he knows who are part of a therapy group. They want him to join. From the sounds of it, I think he should. The doctor will talk to Mr Mushy's shrink and get the okay for Mr Mushy to stay in the group if all looks promising. I have been after him for a few months now to seek out help since he can't talk to me. So, I am hoping this will go toward helping him recover.

It would be easy for me to say that he needs to fix it, that if he doesn't like where he is, do something about it and that in doing so, will make it all better. My experience with Life has taught me that sometimes, the human psyche doesn't always work like that. Sometimes, unfortunately, the psyche just can't let go. Traumatic. Sometimes the trauma just can't go away and so, one has to learn to live with it. I can't understand what he's feeling, having never been shot at, never had someone die in my arms while trying to save them. As child I never suffered the mental or physical abuse he has gone through. Do I have my own nightmares? The little things that pop up randomly throughout my life that haunt me? Of course I do. I'm cut from a different bolt of cloth than he is. So, I can understand trauma. I can understand what trauma can do to a person. I understand limits and capacity. Does his trauma affect me? Of course it does. I'm his chosen partner in this life. The affects to me are different, equally as important in my eyes, but definitely different. The difference is, for this time and space, I can handle it. Before we can be mended and made whole, he has to achieve that for himself. Then we can work on us. We're not so bad, after all, a bit brusied and banged up, a small tear here or there, but all in all, it's fixable. Sometimes, I just have to put the other people in my life on hold, just for a moment or two.

I'm lucky in that way... they're understanding and supportive and my life is so much easier because of it.

Friday's Doings

Well, it's Friday. That probably means more to some than it does to me actually. Usually I have the grandkids today but because everyone is not completely up to par health wise yet, we passed this week and will get back to the norm next week. In the meantime, I htink we'll take this break and Mr. Mushy and I will go out on a date, to the movies. We really want to see National Treasure. So, maybe that's what we'll do. He's currently out attending a funeral for another veteran at the moment and I am making some homemade pizza for dinner. We've come to the conclusion that we like homemade pizza better than take-out ones or the frozen ones.

Well, Las Vegas is now locked in for April. We got our confirmation yesterday. I'm looking forward to it. I just want to kick back, put my feet up and veg. No computers, no phones ringing off the hook, no puppies to clean up after.. you get the idea. I don't mind cooking though. The time share has a wonderful kitchen and the bathroom usually comes with a whirl pool and maybe, just maybe, Di will be able to get there herself. It's about time she met the testosterone I have to live with. *grin*.

Mr. Mushy and I are looking at a New Year's Eve cruise for 2005. The prices aren't all that bad and I think we can do it actually. The Caribbean has been on our agenda to explore. Yours truly hates flying, especially in the winter (we would be going aboard ship from South Carolina). That's one of the slightest obstacles. That is easily overcome though. Mr. Mushy and I have been discussing it along with a few other things he wants to do this year, especially for our anniversary, my birthday, his birthday, etc. So, while the option is very viable, it's not a sure thing yet.

For those of you in the know, you will recall we had another business at one time that was denied its certification and hence, for all intents and purposes, shut down. We had a few jobs that were awarded and had to be finished. Well..... we got the break down for the final payment the week before last. Let's just say, I'm not happy and neither is Mr Mushy. So he has been tracking down his ex partner for about a week now and FINALLY talked to him just recently. Ex-partner's secretary aka an old friend of the family who is very protective of ex-partner (and someone I have a real big problem with) faxed over the breakdown as (I'm sure) she saw it as. One of the companies is a bad debt write off. He filed bankruptcy before we could get our money so therefore she felt we ( Mr Mushy's end) should be charged with the write off so it was going to come out of our profits, which turned our final payment into next to nothing. Oh hell no. So, Mr Mushy finally got hold of his partner and they agreed to spilt the bad debt cost.

Now, I don't know all that much about running a business, other than what common sense says and what I learned form my stint with the American Red Cross. This whole thing with his partner I was against from he get go, but Mr Mushy wanted to do it, so I let it be. Through the two years or so they have been in business, I have gritted my teeth with Mr Mushy's ex-partner. I don't like how he does business. His bookkeeping knowledge is nil. Some of the things he has done, I don't know how he gets away with it. I can't prove anything illegal, but it definitely is... what can I call it? Novel? Creative? I am so glad our business dealings with him are at an end and I have already made it clear that I do not want to do business with him again. *growl* Mr Mushy says that if they do do business together again, an outside firm is handling the books. Well, I don't see that coming to fruitation so I am not too worried about it.

If only I can get the business wench from hell off our backs. The one outstanding company is a company that ran out while still owing us over $15,000.00 that includes legal fees, finance charges, etc. They skipped town and we haven't been able to locate them as yet. We did manage to settle with their bonding company but only for about $7,500.00 which was the total amount of the bond. The wench from hell is a type A personality and she just can't leave us to do our job and trust us to do everything we can to get her money. Hey, if she doesn't get her money, we certainly don't get ours and damn, that's a good chunk of change, thankyouverymuch. I sure as hell am going to do everything I can to get what's owed us and thereby her.

Top all this off with having to struggle, wade through my personal relationship with Mr. Mushy. Please don't misunderstand, he and I aren't doing poorly per se. It's having to deal with the PTSD from Vietnam as well as his childhood. The things I could tell you, but won't. Let's just say that his stepfather was more than an ass. He treated Mr Mushy like Mr Mushy was nothing more than a stray dog.. I take that back, a stray dog had it better. It is a case of terrible child abuse times ten. Mr Mushy is a fighter, he's a survivor, but it still haunts him and the anger that man can't seem to let go of.. I'm blown away by it all. It makes him unable to be vulnerable and open whereas it's hard enough to get a healthy mental person be vulnerable to someone they love..

A dear friend recently told me,"It takes someone special, like you, with the patience of Job. " That kind of made me blink. I would never have described myself as someone with patience. I guess... when one loves as well and as deeply as I do.... anything is possible, even patience.

A Hiccup In The Order Of Things

One thing about Life, I can either live my life in what can be or may be or I can live my life day to day, accepting whatever comes my way and not worry about the what-ifs. I choose to live my life in the latter. Now and then, however, my life gives a hiccup and I end up holding my breath for a precious few. Such was one of those times, last night.

I was sound asleep and was woken up by Mr Mushy asking for a new bottle of nitro. Apparently one of the old bottles was still on the headboard of the bed and in his distress, couldn't find the current bottle. So, he woke me. Thank the Lady. I got him a new bottle and it took 2 tabs before he was okay. Those were some of the longest minutes of my life.

Mr. Mushy has a chronic heart condition. While he doesn't need nitro on a regular basis, it still makes the world stop when he has to take one or two. One would think I would be use to this by now, that it is a normal every day fact of life for us. Like I mentioned, he doesn't need it on an everyday basis, so when he does take them......

One of the little side effects is that after taking nitro, he gets a mega headache and then is tired the next day. One of our little things is that I end up sharing some of his experiences. I can't even label it sympathy pains. I never know when it will hit, if it does. I ended up with the mega headache last night. It came on suddenly and it wasn't stress. I never stress during, it's always afterwards when I am being vigilant that I allow myself to stress. I guess I am too busy taking care of matters at the time they are occurring. Aside from the headache, I couldn't sleep. Par for the course during one of these times. I've learned to live with it. I fell asleep some time this morning and was late rising.

Mr Mushy is okay today, a bit tired, again normal. I'll still be on alert and even if I don't look like it, I'm paying attention. I'll be back to normal in a couple of days. The doctor says we need a vacation together. We couldn't take one earlier this year. In April we're headed for Vegas. Sprout is celebrating his 21st birthday in Sin City. I plan on relaxing and letting Sprout and Troll do their thing. We'll all do the Tournament of Kings thing at Excalibur and Mr Mushy and I are going to take in more of the sights this time around and just resting and relaxing the rest of the time. I don't believe in cramming activity into each waking hour while on vacation. I want some peace and quiet, to reflect and to relax. That's why I enjoy cruising so much, nothing but a vast body of water to look at for a day or two. We're looking into a cruise for next New Year's. No promises, but I think it would be lots of fun and quite memorable.... it's a serious thought. Yeah. I kinda like the idea myself. I can't think of a better way to bring in the New Year.

Shall We Dance?

Two steps forward, one step back. Maybe if I think of it as dancing I won't get so damn impatient with myself. I still feel at 75% but having to take things a wee bit slower. I didn't do a whole lot yesterday but from what I'm feeling, maybe a wee bit more than I should have. I absolutely loathe the fact that I am not 100% in charge of my body. It is getting to the point where my body is now telling me what it will and will not do. It sucks. I remember a time when I looked forward to spending more time in bed and now.... you can hardly keep me in it.

It's a nice day out there today and I want to be out there, puttering. Instead, here I am, in my lounging clothes, sitting at my computer (for the moment at least) and writing. In about two minutes, I'll be heading back to bed, dammit.

Okay.. that's it.. time to go... I'm trying to find the up side to this.. I truly am.. but I'm one hell of a lousey patient. *snarling*

Percentage

Ugh. Well, at least I can report that as of today, I am feeling at about 75% normal. My biggest challenge lies in not allowing myself to do too much even if there is a lot to do. It's just horrible when all of us are sick at the same time. The barest of essentials have been kept up, but this place needs some thorough cleaning and some sunshine. According to the weather reports, we should be getting some of that sunshine this week. I hope so. The whole Grove needs to dry out before we sprout webbed toes or something.

In other places of the Grove, Pookie got put on antibiotics. The doctor heard some of telling rattling in her chest. Better safe than sorry.

Topper is back down with a fever. If he doesn't break it by Monday, he's going back into the doctor's. On another note, he's just really been amazing me with his potty-training. He's been on the slow side picking it up, but now, I guess he has finally decided he wants to be one of the big boys. Last night, I got a late night call. Apparently Topper handed Daddy the phone and told Daddy he wanted to talk to me. Who was FB to argue with that one? Besides, I got an update on the rest of the crew.

Daughter is coming along. Still needs a lot more rest. I can hear the difference in her voice though. The main thing is her ribs when she coughs. She's doing everything she can to get better since FB needs to go back to school on the 18th.

FB is doing okay. Sometimes he gets a bit surly so Daughter has to snarl back at him, but for the most part, he is once again flying under my radar. We talked a bit last night about his oldest brother and their mom dying. FB has a bit of a problem with the way brother was handling her death. Hopefully, I made FB understand that this was how his brother had to deal with her passing. It may have seemed calloused and uncaring, but it wasn't really. Sometimes, one just has to see underneath the public action to understand and that is not always easy when one is also in mourning. Sometimes, it takes an outsider to point it out.

Mr Mushy and I had to have one of our 'talks' last night. I really wasn't up for it, but those that know me, know that if it is necessary, I'll wade right in. There was some initial frustration, ire, and tears, but by the end of the conversation, I believe we made some progress. There were a few things I had to jerk on his boot strap about and there were some things he was right about, things I couldn't possibly truly understand, having never experienced it first hand myself. By the same token he had to understand, that while I feel well balanced and on an even keel, I'm not always. I work at it. I have nightmares, I have fears, anxieties, that I deal with as well. Their caliber may be different than his but certainly no less important or intense.

I believe we have two choices in this world, we can wallow with that can of worms ( as in: everybody hates me, nobody loves me, I'm going to eat some worms) OR we can damn well get up and find a solution. Sometimes, we all need to wallow for a moment or two, even me, but that's it, just a moment or two and then dammit, I want a solution and if I have to keep banging my head on the desk until I find one, so be it. After all, what is eating worms all the time going to get you? Unless you're in the fishing business or the cuisine business, not very damn far, let me tell you. Banging my head on my desk may get me a flat forehead, but when I find that solution, at least I'll be able to afford some plastic surgery to fix it, by golly. At any rate, the bottom line is, we got through it and are the better for it.

Everyone is recouping from Mr Gotaflu. He's an unwelcome houseguest that's getting the boot.

In The Grove

Meet Mr. Gotaflu. He's a nasty little visitor. He doesn't seem to want to leave the Grove. So far he's knocked me for six and I'm good for maybe an hour up time at the moment. Troll has had problems with his sinuses, which has created all kinds of nifty conditions for him---not. Sprout is just blah. Mr. Mushy feels like something is sitting on his chest and it ain't me. Over at the daughter's, they are going to take Pookie to the doctor's today. Her temp has been 103 consistently and went up to 103.5. When they put her in the tub, her temp comes down to 98-99, but goes right back up. Her pneumonia did that to her. They don't want to take any chances. Topper's fever just broke yesterday, I think. So he's sleeping things off at the moment. FB is hanging in there. H's having to take care of things since my daughter is not doing too great. She hasn't slept worth a tinker's damn for 4 days now. Her breathing seems to be the problem. Her sinuses I believe. So daughter and Pookie are getting checked out. Unfortunately, Pookie didn't qualify for a flu shoot this year. She did get her pneumonia shot last year and it is suppose to be good for a few years. Yeah. We'll see about that.

Nasty, nasty, ick...

Tap Dancing?

That's what it feels like to me, nasty trolls are tap dancing on my chest. Okay, so now there are four grown people in this house coughing and whining. Ugly, ugly, picture. I get one thing accomplished and I have to go lounge on the couch for a half hour. It sucks, especially since the weather is goign to break this week and there's a lot of stuff I want to do outside.

The other bad thing about having so much time in my hands, is think time. I've been giving quite a few issues some thought and then setting it aside until I am better. It's not that I am second guessing myself...questions are just emerging. Convoluted, isn't it? I'll try to expound once I am feeling better. Hm, I can't be too bad off, I'm using words that are longer than four letters.

Oh and plumbing is acting up again, only this time, we're pretty sure what it is... now if I can only get Mr Mushy away from the football games to do something about it. I've banished him from the livingroom tv tomorrow. I'm sick of football. I've been subjected to it all weekend.

I'm still alive even if I am chasing my lungs down the hall..

Did You Get it?

The make and license plate number of the truck that hit me? Okay, so that's how I feel. Ugh. From the very top of my head, through every little hair to the bottom of my feet, I ache. Sick. Yep. Blech.

There's my whine for the weekend.

Snowing In The Grove

Yes, I know for those of you who live with snow each year, it's not such a big deal and probably more of a bother. For us here in the Grove, it's a treat. Sometimes, it can become more than we bargained for.

When I was a little girl I remembered one winter where it snowed up to the tops of the t-bars that held up 4 foot field fencing. One of the major stores in town at the time, one that my paternal grandfather was responsible for building, had it's roof collapse. There were other stores that year that had the same problem. We were without electricity for a few days and we stayed at my paternal grandparents' home just down the hill out back from here. I remember gathering roasting pans of clean snow and melting it down for all sort of things we needed. We've not had such a time since.

There's a huge storm on its way in today and I'm not sure how long its suppose to last, about three days I hear tell. I wonder if it will continue to snow off and on? Guess we'll find out.

In other news, my writing partner if off to the west coast to go on his cruise. He deserves it.. heck, he needs it. I know he'll have a great time and get in that relaxing he needs. The year ended on a rough note and there's a big hole inside him, but he's going to be okay... we'll be ok. Everything will work out for the best in the long run. In the meantime, I shall hold down the fort, hopefully get in some creative writing time. All kinds of ideas are brewing in my head including ' the puzzle pieces' for my new character, Lady Raven. Just this evening I've figured out who she is, who her parents were. Now, I just need to find a way to resent the 'pieces' so everyone can work at guessing. My partner is quite good at that and usually the answer is right under my nose, darn him. I have at least one idea who he is... only time will tell if I am right. One would think after all these years I would have figured out how he ticks...not bloody likely. The man keeps me on my toes and yes, I like it that way.

The grandkids are here tonight. I'm not up to par but Troll is. So he's taken over riding herd tonight, bless him. Mr Mushy has a Veteran post meeting tonight and since he's responsible for dinner, I can hear him in the kitchen. So there isn't a whole lot I need to actually do tonight, which is a good thing. In these cooler temps, the knee I banged up before Yule, is acting up pretty fiercely. I've been popping aspirin as allowed. I guess it would help to stay off it, but I hate to lie around not doing anything. I may be slow, but by golly, I'm not down and out.

Troll took pictures of the puppies. They turned 3 weeks this past Tuesday. They're kinda cute, but if you try to quote me on that, I'll deny it. I'm hoping to be able to post them once I get them scanned. Out of the five, I believe 3 are spoken for. They sure have gotten more active and are growling and barking... if you can call those cute little noises they make growling and barking.

On other fronts, the other company we had still had some outstanding jobs to finish up so we're expecting a check sometime soon for our share. I don't expect a whole lot, but anything would be nice. I'm not sure how much more of the jobs are left to complete, if any.

Scary thought: Troll and Sprout, doing a macarena snow dance.

It's not pretty folks.

The Little Things That Tick In The Grove

I truly believe the hair aresol hair spray my daughter use to heap upon her head when she was in Jr. High and the numerous hair coloring efforts she has made on her hair, have finally contributed to her losing her mind. This morning I get a phone call, " Mom, what are you all doing today?" Rut-oh. That translates into, Mom, I need you to do something for me today. I knew it. She wanted me to drive out to her place, pick Pookie up from the bus stop since FB had to take Daughter to the doctor's for her annual check-up. There was no reason for FB not being able to drop Daughter off, go get his daughter and wait for wife to call him to pick her up. When I asked her about that, the answer was, " Well, we're watching our gas money. " And we're not? I have this monster truck. Even using the middle gas price, it still costs me about $53.00 to fill the tank and the gas mileage for town driving isn't all that great. I don't mind doing things for my family, sometimes at my expense, but given what I know, they can bail themselves out on this.

My plumbing problem. ..er...the house's plumbing problem that is. Last night a young gentleman from a reputable company came by. Because of the way this house was built, he couldn't complete the job and told us that we would need to have a few things done to the estimated tune of $400.00. Nuh-uh. This is work Mr Mushy can do this spring and it won't cost us all that. The way we had the situation taken care of about 4 years ago was that they got on the roof and went through the vent. Apparently companies are not doing that anymore or at least, not many. uckily we found the plumber who did this for us last time and from the sounds of it, they were just up there on the roof working on it. Gosh, I hope it worked. I don't know what we're going to do if it didn't. I shudder to think.

Mr. Mushy went to see his mental health doctor today. *sigh* The doc changed the meds again. I hate that. It raises the hair on the back of my neck when that happens, mainly because the results are so unpredictable. We've had a couple of changes that weren't too good. The doctor also reassured Mr Mushy that he is going to personally make sure, Mr Mushy gets into a group he needs to be in. Apparently, Mr Mushy has fallen through the cracks. One thing about Veteran's Care, you must be your own steward. If you leave everything in their hands, you may just fall by the wayside. It's one of the flaws in the system, unfortunately. I guess we'll just have to see how this new medication works.

Right now, it seems like this house is in a state of constant, somewhat, chaos. The holidays always seem to do that. So, it is my hope that by the end of January, I'll have it running smoothly again. In the meantime, I manage to get the livingroom to myself now and then in the evening so I stir the fire in the fireplace, light the candles on the mantle and turn off all the lights. Cozy. Warm. Comforting. Serene. Nice.

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2005. I hope everyone had a safe and welcoming new year. The Grove was rather quiet this year. I had three men all in various stages of sickness lying around. I'm still treading water. *knock wood* We were talking last night how Christmas and New Year's seemed to sneak up on us and how surreal it has seemed. Troll said even the people he works with have noted it too. Of course, what's a New Year's celebration without Dick Clark? No offense Regis, but those were rather big shoes to fill and I don't think anyone can.

Yesterday was spent visibly online but behind that was puttering around the house with various chores. Dinner turned out great. I'm rather proud of my prime rib. Yesterday and today is football, college football. Every year we always bet on the Bowl games. I won the Rose Bowl. Troll always takes Michigan. The Rose parade was wonderful. Last year I got to go down there and actually walk around and see the floats after the parade.Awesome. If you ever get the chance to do it, I would highly suggest it. There's nothing quite like it.

Plumbing problems in the Grove. *chuckle* They always seem to happen on a Sunday or a holiday when calling a plumber or septic company would cost a small mint. Pookie is usually the cause. How that little hiney needs a whole handful of toilet paper is beyond me. it could have been a cat knocking something into the toilet also. Nothing is beyond reason here.

Puppies are growing like little weeds. They have their eyes open now and are making little barking noises and are starting to play with each other. I believe three out of the five have been promised. Pictures are forthcoming as soon as someone gets out the dig cam.

Temps for the Grove are suppose to drop dramatically tonight and over the next couple of days. It could mean snow. Snow is so pretty to look at but that's about it. In any case, we're as ready as we can be. There's plenty of wood for the fireplace, oil lamps are primed and ready and the water supply is adequate.

You know, a cruise to Mexico (it's their summer at the moment) sounds really good right aobut now.