Saturday, July 30, 2005

Is Someone Keeping Count?

I just don't believe this. I still can't believe it happened a couple of hours ago. You know how the oven has a window? There are two panes of glass. Well the inner pane, the one you can wipe off, broke. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I SWEAR!! I just put some chicken in the oven, I didn't even slam the door but as it closed I heard this shifting of glass sound and when I opened the door again, there were pieces of broken glass. I am grateful there are two such panes so I can still use the oven. I almost caught myself asking, " What---" uh huh. You didn't really think I was going to voice it, did you?

I have now uploaded the two new parts for my Dark Towers story, The Price of the Tower. Simply go to the Fourth Floor Library and click on the title and the menu will descend. You can find them here.

...Three, Four, Shut The Door....

When my temper tries to get the best of me, I'd use that old nursery rhyme. I still do, but it doesn't work as good as it use to. I've tried my times tables, but I find myself still growling out of one side of my mouth.

This past week has been the week from hell and since I was in touch with my inner bitch (all women have one. Some of us just refuse to acknowledge it) I figured it was best to make myself scarce before I sheared someone's head from their shoulders for nothing less than simply spouting something at me. I'm glad it's over. Geez. If this is the way Mercury in retro is going to be until the 15th, I'm ordering a case of..of... something numbing.. tequila maybe? My poor rubber ducky lies so mangled in my bath water, he doesn't even float upright anymore. Although...he may be making a statement by floating upside down. The one good thing to come out of this is I got one part written for Dark Towers and I just finished another part. Now all I have to do is get it up on the site.

Still hot here. Not as hot as it has been but we're still breaking the three digits. Mr. M and I went out for Mexican food at a new little place we found for lunch today. It was okay. I think we'll keep searching. The little place down on the river closed and that broke my heart.

Daughter and I got our nails done and had lunch together yesterday. I always look forward to that AND I even ventured into the mall, yes again, don't faint. I went to little store that has jewelry and Happy Bunny items. Don't know about Happy Bunny? Google him. Sprout is rather fond of Happy Bunny. I found him another sticker for his car. I also found out that Sprout went out last night and got bombed out of his tree, so bombed that he was still drunk this morning, so bombed he's afraid that if he tries to eat anything at the moment, he'll be on his knees in worship. I gave up porcelain worship a long time ago. Who wants to put their face some place people park their naked butts on? And we'll not even go into about someone forgetting to put up the seat.

I gots just one other little burr under my saddle... and maybe it's my inner biotch that's coloring everything... but if it isn't....if someone doesn't get the wedgie out from between his ass cheeks, partner or no partner(and this isn't about my partner, bless him), I'm gonna shove 'em up his ass as far as I can reach. I am trying to maintain some level of peace for the sake of everyone around, but I'm only gonna deal with so much of the yo-yo-ing before I tie a damn knot in the short string. As those of you who know me can testify to, I'm an in-your-face type of person when I get damn tired of the bull crap. Grow up, get over it and if you got some beef with me, bring it. Let's get it on the table and deal with it once and for all so we can all move on.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Short Spurt

Between bill paying, grocery shopping, housework and keeping track of Mr. M, I haven't had much time to do much of anything else. By the time I get a free moment, it's far late, definitely no role-playing time and time to haul my sorry backside off to bed.

They say the temps are going down by this weekend. Oh yea, verily I say unto you, it's far better to live through double digits than it is triple ones. Still trying to get the writing done. I have to transfer it from the laptop to the desktop.

More update on FB but that's going to have to wait too. Dinner is running late. I swear we're on a European lifestyle during the summer.

Patience. I'm trying to catch up.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Leftover Shroom, Anyone?

Aiiiiiiyyyyyeeee. What a weekend and what a Monday. There's not a lot of Shroom left to go around and it's only Monday. If I didn't know it before, I sure do now... Mercury is in retrograde until mid-August. Where's my pod and my rubber ducky? Actually the weekend was just busy as hell. I had The Horde aka the grandkids. They kept me busy and it sure was nice to have them back again. Topper woke me up at 3 am Saturday morning. I think one of the cats jumped down on him wanting him to pet them. We're use to it around here, but Topper isn't. Scared the dickens out of him and I couldn't get him to go back to sleep until around 4 am and only when I would curl up in Mr.M's chair. That was so good for my neck and back. Yeah. Then my darlings got me up at 7:30 am with the sweet chorus of, "We're hungry!"
ringing in my ears. So with a moan and groan, I got out of bed, fixed them up and flopped again. By that time Troll got up and I happily turned the reins over to him.

Pookie had $5.00 burning a hole in her pocket so I spotted Topper just as much and off we went to Shopko. I took Troll. I refuse to suffer alone. After what seemed to be 3 hours, Topper spent his money..until...Uncle Troll spotted each of them $10.00. I smacked Troll on the back of his bald head as he rounded a shopping isle. That took what seemed like another 3 hours before we bustled them out of the store and over to their favorite fast food joint for lunch. Got it to go. Great things are drive throughs. Got them home and Troll and I looked at each other and sighed.

I was suppose to babysit today while FB and Daughter went back to court, but that didn't happen. I was coming out of the shower this morning and there sat Mr. M on the edge of the bed, his back to me. I could sense something wasn't right and after repeating myself twice, "What's wrong?" He finally told me that he was experiencing some severe chest discomfort. I threw on some clothes, didn't care if they matched. Found some slippers, ran my fingers through my hair as Mr. M loaded up in the truck and hauled ass down to the VA Clinic. We have to do that if the clinic is open or else we may end up with a huge ER bill to pay. Mr M had taken 2 nitros but the discomfort had not stopped. I'm not playing around here. His happy ass is going on a gurney if I have to do it myself or drag him in there. We've done this too many times before and until they can tell us why it is happening, I am not taking any chances. Two hours laters and we're back home. No enzymes showing damage to the heart tissue. Good thing. All the other tests didn't show anything. This is getting frustrating but I am relieved that Mr. M walked out of that place with me. He's sporting a huge headache at the moment from the nitro. He's also tired. So, it's an easy rest of the day for him. I'm going to keep an eye on him and in the meantime get in some more writing time.

I've completed another part to my story for Dark Towers.Although I don't have it up yet. There's still more clamoring to get out of my head. Not sure how many pages I'm going to end up with by the end of the day. Right now, I'm just striving for an even keel.

Be Well.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Down By The Old Mill Stream

Okay, so it's Friday. Mr. M and I have a date. We're going to go play miniature golf. I haven't played that in over, uh *cough* 20 plus years. We have only two courses here and the same company owns them. They also have bumper boats, rock climbing, laser tag and go carts. The only thing I ain't open to doin' is rock climbing. One, I don't like heights. Two, I ain't getting into a harness. It might be someone's fantasy somewhere, but it sure as hell isn't mine...*mumble* okay, not vertically that is. WHERE WAS I? Oh, yeah... so we're going to out tonight to play some putt-putt. I use to be very good at it and I'm looking forward to kicking some butt. Then home and a late dinner we plan on fixing together.

At this time, I am not sure if my current efforts to 'reconnect us' are working. I guess they may be. We're having fun together and that is what has been missing, going out and doing something together. Before our priority was raising the kids, but now that they're all grown, we can focus on us. We really never got to do that much in the beginning. So, now we need to go back and do all that fun stuff, get use to spending time together and it's easier because we know each other so much better now than before.

Have a good night. Make it a worthy one.

Divine Grace


I have no idea how long I've been wading through emotions and coming to feel like I am standing on the edge of some sort of precipice. I'm not whining about it because it is my own doing, my own choice. As I sit here, I keep being reminded that the Divine never gives us more than we can handle and I can attest to that. I believe I got to that point the other day. There was no clarity of thought or sight, and truthfully? I felt like I was drowning. I did the one thing I always do, I went to bed on a prayer for that clarity. In the morning I got up and there was this calmness, this serenity inside me. I got into the shower and did what is my ritual to do every night or every morning, and that is to let the water flow over my head, feel it course down my body and be aware of it going down the drain. With that water goes all my negativity, all the unwanted and unnecessary emotions that might be blocking insight and wisdom. My point to all this? All the heaviness I have felt, maybe for months and not even knowing it, was gone. Whatever pain there was inside my heart, gone. I mentally poked myself several times and truthfully, honestly, nothing stirred. It just wasn't there anymore. The only conclusion I have thus far come to is that the Lady took it from me. I feel like I am standing on solid ground again, squarely. I didn't ask for it. They were my choices, my consequences to bear. Why She removed it, I don't know. All I do know is that I am grateful. I am beyond whatever emotions have been raised. I am not ignoring the things that have happened, just that I am moved beyond the emotions that have been crippling me to see more clearly, to feel the strength I need to do what I feel is right.

We need to be able to feel pain, to feel anger, to feel the gauntlet of emotions we were granted from Divine Grace, because only then, do we know, that we feel. If we don't feel, we're wasting the Gift of Life granted to us now. I don't feel like wasting it. I live every day with this hidden fear, a mere spark of fear, but fear nonetheless, that I will not live to see my 53rd birthday. My maternal grandmother didn't, my mother didn't, my maternal oldest uncle didn't and my second maternal uncle sure as hell didn't make it much further. The only one that did is my maternal grandfather, who lived to be in his mid to late nineties. My maternal great-grandfather lived to be in his late nineties. All of my mother's immediate side of the family are gone. I miss them. One of my youngest cousins (my eldest uncle on my mother's side) died before she left her twenties. Em, mentioned tragic to me yesterday, now THAT is tragic. My point to all this is that I can't take Life for granted. I may or may not make it past my 53rd birthday and the only way I can know for sure is to get there and if I don't, I sure as hell don't want to have any regrets in leaving this world by saying that I wasted so much of my energy on stuff I shouldn't have.

I wouldn't be the person people appreciate or care about if I didn't stand firm on what I feel is right or believe in those I believe in. I've never been one to bow to group opinion or swept away on group feelings if I felt strongly about something. I've always tried to walk my talk. I'm not saying I've always succeeded, but I try my best. I would do the same for anyone I felt strongly about, anyone I believed in, whether they are part of a network of friends or not.

I am lucky. Divine Grace resides inside of me and takes care of me even when I don't realize it or recognize it right off. She knows when to let me walk and fall and when to pick me up and when to take my load. I am lucky and I am blessed.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Mercury Strikes Again

You know, I knew when Mercury went into retro, but one would think I learned to duck by now. Actually this time it's not about me but Mr. M. I love that man dearly, but sometimes, I have to wonder about him. Last night I made Mexican for dinner. He does all my prep work while I work on the tacos, etc. So, he finished his slicing and dicing and I finished doing taco shells. I had walked away from the stove and I heard that sound... the sound of water hitting hot oil. Mr. M forgot to wipe down the cutting board he just washed and or at least didn't finish drying it and the water hit the oil and splattered. Moral of story: Don't work in the kitchen shirtless. He's fine. He's got small little burn splatters but we've been using ointment on them. Tonight he says.. "What could possibly--" I hushed him. No sense in tempting the Universe.

FB Update: Basically, visitation is up to the wee one. The Mediator advised, no, told Slinky to that her daughter needed to be in therapy, now. The little told the mediator that mommy and her side of the family for the last four years have told her (the little girl) that her daddy doesn't want her. Slinky is not happy. Slinky must bring the little one back tomorrow to see the mediator so the two of them can work out something comfortable so she can get to know her daddy again. Sad stuff.

Decisions, decisions: I came to a few. Pretty much everyone has weighed in. I simply wanted them to know where I stand and I wanted it in the open, on the table.

The Pig Farmer is unhappy but I know he still cares and I love him too *double oink*.

Ames is well, Ames. What can I say about a Gemini? I still love her. I don't think that she has any doubts in her beliefs on the matter but at least she granted some small kernel and that means a lot.

Em, your reaction wasn't any less than I expected. Funny, I can hear Tammy Wynette from your corner too. Keep your stone, dear. You may hurt yourself with it.

Cowboy, thanks for your cool level head. You're a refreshing thing in an oasis.

E, klines were set for a reason, did anyone ask Admin why? Since when do friendships cross boundries and who in their right minds would ask it of friend? That's not what friendships are about, at least in my book. One doesn't take advantage of friends that way, no matter at what end of the spectrum they sit.

Amber hasn't weighed in yet. So, I have nothing to say there. Only that.. she is in my prayers and I love her dearly.

Laughter


These just in:

Top ten dog peeves about humans:

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!


2. Yelling at me for barking... I'm A Friggin' Dog!


3. Taking me out for a walk and then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... Stop It!


5. Any haircut that involves ribbons or bows. Now you know why we chew up your things when you're not home.


6. The (sleight of hand) fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whooo Hooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.


7. Taking me to the vet for the "Big Snip," then wondering why I freak out every time we go back!


8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered the art of the handshake.


9. Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?


10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, You're just jealous!


Hmmm...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Muhahahaha..Another One of THOSE...

Okay, someone cranked the wheel here... some of this is true... but some of it... way off... could have to do with the choices offered because you had to pick one. What parts are true? *grin*

Pirate Monkey's Harry Potter Personality Quiz
Harry Potter Personality Quiz
by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Oh Gimme A Break, Will Ya?

I can't believe this.
Are these people for real? Okay, so instead of focusing on the negative, in any form, why don't they focus on the positive? Something like... this is what we need to concentrate on to do better...or... how about if we try this doing this to help you better? But to wish to replace the word fail with "deferred success"? Get a grip, people. This is not what they need to hear. What they need to hear is a plan of attack to make it more successful. Deferred success. Bleh.

FB and Slinky: Saga Continued

Yesterday, FB got a phone call from the Court Family Mediator. The man wants to meet with both FB and Slinky to discuss what is going on in their child's wee mind. Not sure what this is all about. The law says both parents have to be present. I do know that the wee one had an appointment yesterday with the Mediator. I'm not sure what to think. It could be about either of them or both of them.

Apparently FB found out that they can record telephone conversations between Slinky and himself to use in mediation. Fb wishes they had gotten a device to do so for yesterday evening's conversation. While the visitation is in mediation, Slinky is still required to conform with the rest of the decree. This consist of providing communication between daughter and father. Last night, FB called to speak with his daughter and was told by Slinky that she was eating dinner, fair enough. FB advised he would call back at 8 pm to speak with his daughter. When he called back, Slinky told him that daughter was out for a walk. Now, normally, I would say coincidence, but I'm wary of that one in this case as Slinky has a history of making their daughter unavailable.

I haven't heard yet the outcome of the meeting today. That meeting took place at 1:00 pm PDT. I just called and no answer so the family is out somewhere. I had to tell my Daughter last night to QUIT 'awful-izing' geez. You can only deal with what you know and she wouldn't know a damn thing until tomorrow (today).

Gods, is it five o'clock yet????!!! And someone, anyone, turn down the heat. Ugh.

Chasms


My usual routine is to grab a cup of coffee, sit down at the desk, fire up the dial-up, download my email and while that is being done, I get on my surfboard and surf over to the blogs that belong to my friends and see what they want to share with me today. Today, I'm doing things a little different. Today, I'm writing first, reading last.

I can't speak for them and why they blog, but what I can share is why I do and what is going through my head at the time my fingers start tapping away. When I sit down at my desk and open up a blank entry the first intention in my head is to vent. As a creative writer, secondary comes the desire,sometimes, to couch the words in a format as if I am mainly speaking to people. What I write, what you read, is exactly what you'd get if we ever met face to face. This is it, plain, unadorned, me. Yes, understandably, somewhere in the back of my head is the awareness that other people are going to read this, that is not the first emotion that grabs and compels me. That comes later, after I have written it all out, gotten it out of my system and then I look back on it and determine if I can live with myself for what I am putting out there.

Yesterday, a friend read what I wrote and felt I was talking, nay, attacking, her and another dear friend. There is a part of her in there, him as well. The funny thing is, the part where I had either of them in mind? Wasn't the part she thought was them. I find that interesting on some weird level and on some back burner. I caused a knee-jerk reaction and as I offered up to her last night, maybe she needs to figure out why. Yes, my friends read my blog, but is that going to make me cautious about what I write when I feel so strongly about something? Sorry, no. What you're reading are my emotions, my feelings, however strong or lukewarm as they may be. This is me. I'm entitled. I choose this medium because I have the need to vent. Am I going to go into their space and spout? No. Here, they can either read me or not. I am not invading their space, but utilizing my own.

I feel like I have been doing nothing but defending what I see as an injustice and there's nothing wrong with that. I just don't want to keep hearing the same lament over and over, from anyone. We all made choices, why can't we all just get on with it and quit looking over our shoulders? If someone wants to vent, let them vent. Let them get it out of their system once and for all. We don't have to agree with them, just see it for it is, a way to vent, a moment to work through and hopefully move on. It doesn't matter how many posts it takes to get there. After all, we can simply leave and not read. Their welfare in being able to vent is the most important thing. Eh, and truthfully, I'm a little kinky that way, I am fascinated by watching the process.

What does it matter who a channel has been given to? What does it matter who comes into that channel? Why is there this need to even see who is in a channel other than our own? WHY DO PEOPLE STILL STILL HAVE THIS NEED TO LOOK OVER THEIR SHOULDERS??!!! There's more than one person who does it so if you take this personally *knee jerk*.

This whole friggin mess has torn people apart and I ask myself.. Do I want to be friends or do I want to be right? I have asked myself that more times than I can count over the last few months. I have felt the need, the instinct, to defend from an injustice as I acknowledge it to be. The need to be right is not a motivating force within me. Why? Because Truth will always come out. It may take years, but it always reconciles the accounting and I am a much more patient person than I use to be and sadly is the acknowledgement that sometimes, no matter what, you can't budge the mountain.

Last night, I hurt so badly from my brain to my toes. It wasn't the emails that flew between two sisters that did it. It is the accumulation of crap from the beginning and because I have a tendency to back up and close myself off when I feel this way, I removed myself from the mailing list. It wasn't because of one person but from the whole. I don't fault anyone for circling the wagons around those they love, are loyal to and feel are being made victims. I had to remove myself because I don't belive there are victims here. I think that anger and hurt, old wounds and attitudes have conspired with circumstances. That's what I THINK and because I do, I have removed myself. I think at this point, it's a necessary sad evil. I don't like sitting on a fence. It's too damn uncomfortable. Someone who is important to me is involved and is someone I feel has been wronged. Unfortunately, I can't separate, at least, not at this point in my life. I'm not saying never, but right now, I am too raw to try and make anything work by sitting on a fence.

Right now.... I have but one wish.. one that may never see fruitation.. but some of that optimism I've been rubbing elbows with over the years... seeing some of those silver linings... feeling some of that spiritualism that makes everyone be a better person in a better place... knowing that a shining knight in a dented suit of armour that has seen better days stands for something in each of us...gives me hope...

I hope that one day, those that I love and care about, that stand on a divided side of a fence, can find a way to talk to each other with an understanding that they might not like what they hear about themselves, but see that this is what is projected to others... that they can safely express their anger, their pain and their frustration not with the intent of fueling more anger or pain but with the intent of getting it out of their system and find a way to at least be civil with each other without having to wear a mask and have undercurrents.. right now, thinking about all these people.. seeing their faces in my mind.. I don't think they can do that... not now.. maybe never...

I pray they find a way to prove me wrong... I can wait... I'm selfish that way.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Tuesday In The Grove

Well, there's a lot to say today so where to begin. Hm. Let's start with the melted, heat exhausted Shroom. There's no excuse for me. I have lived with this heat for 40 years or so and I know what to do and what I shouldn't. The other thing I have a hard time keeping in mind is that I'm older now and my old body doesn't tolerate or process this heat like it use to. I made myself sick yesterday being out in the heat of the day with the kids. It may have been for only a couple of hours, but those two hours can have serious consequences when the heat is raging at 112 degrees. So, for consequences today, I don't get to do some things I was hoping to accomplish yesterday. I did so enjoy being with the kiddos though.

FB and Slinky Update: Well Slinky showed up in court with her lawyer, duly rehired as of yesterday. She wasn't at all pleased to see her ex-husband and his mother there. As a matter of fact, she got him sent from the courtroom by telling her attorney that her ex-husband use to beat her. Here's the upshot of yesterday:

FB didn't even get a chance to get a word in. The Commissioner sent them straight into mediation. FB had to do an orientation in prelude to seeing the Mediator next month. In the meantime, the Mediator is seeing their daughter today and if the Mediator finds that there is no further reason to prevent it, FB will get his daughter on Wednesdays and Saturdays from 10am to 5 pm. This is a temp order until mediation has occured between FB and Slinky. Slinky tried to protest having her daughter see the Mediator today. She felt it was unnecessary and the girl didn't need to go. Well, that fell on deaf ears. My daughter is worried that Slinky will try to stuff the little one's ears full of crap. I told Daughter don't worry. I am sure the Mediator caught Slinky's protest and only an empty soda can wouldn't wonder about that protest. The Mediators are also trained to see parental coaching. Besides, the little one really does want to come and spend time with her daddy and her other brother and sister. Like I said before Pookie and the little one have been such good close friends.

In the meantime, with the ex-husband's help, FB is going to round up depostions from people in Kansas who told the ex-husband they would be more than willing to fly to Calif. to testify what they know and have seen about Slinky. One nex-neighbor claims that Slinky would leave her youngest daughter (the one she had with her ex) outside in dirty diapers, encrusted in her own feces for at least three hours. Slinky's form of punishment. Apparently Slinky would leave both girls outside for three hours by themselves without supervision.

What I want to see here is justice and the truth come out. Slinky has been acting the victim and does it well. Pathological liars are very good at what they do.

******************************


Right now I am dealing with my emotions and thoughts in regards to people I have long considered friends. Because our thoughts and feelings differ on an issue, that does not make us no longer friends. What it does do is make things awkward. Things are awkward until I have dealt with my feelings and placed them where they need to be.

Quite clearly right now I am filled with frustration, disbelief and yes, even anger. I know that much of their words spoken aloud stem from their own frustrations, their own prejudice. Some are justified in their feelings, given their experiences, some are not and it got plain downright ugly.

Most of my disappointment comes from my own expectations. Where I expected nobility and wisdom, I saw anger and spite. So, now, I must deal with my own feelings, deal with my own thoughts and find some sort of perspective that I can live with and move forward. As in dealing with anything belonging to self, this is not going to be an easy task and if nothing else, I am a hard taskmistress.

Where does everyone and everything fit? I don't know. I wish I did. They are entitled to their opinions based on what they know, just as I am entitled to mine based on the same reasons. It still hurts and it is that hurt, within myself that I must heal before I can move forward with any sort of decisions. Other than being defensive, they have remained caring. Are they any less to me because of their caring? No.

There was only one who even remotely gave even the smallest bit of possibility to my words and for that, I would gladly thank him with my whole heart except for the fact that in his next words, he practically negated that which he gave possibility to and so that leaves me to wonder... was there any truth in granting that possibility deep down?

I am told I am still welcome and I truly believe the words, if not the sentiment. What matters to me at this point is that *I* don't feel it. There's a rift I must heal inside of myself first before I can even contemplate the welcome.

*************************


My role-playing partner blames himself and apologies to me for what this has all wrought. He has no need to apologize. I call 'em as I see 'em. If I thought he was wrong and at the bottom of all this crap, I would tell him so. I truly believe he is not and there is nothing to prove to me otherwise but coincidence of timing, if not words.

Have you ever heard someone say something similar if not exactly what someone else says to you at some point? That doesn't mean they necessarily have been having the same discussion, it simply can mean they share the same viewpoint. Keep looking for a reason to find someone guilty and eventually you will.

*******************************


Anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, some other emotion becomes the trigger. It's finding that trigger, understanding what caused it and then getting rid of it. Because we all are different people with different outlooks, through our own personal experiences, we all process or filter things differently. By talking with each other, we can process things in the manner they were meant to be processed.

Some of us give out attitude because we're being defensive, either of ourselves or on behalf of another. Somehow we process words and fail to see them for what they state simply and clearly because we're already expecting to be attacked. When attention is drawn to the attitude, we become even more defensive. To me, that usually says we need to step back and take a deep breath or two because we're just too personally involved in the issue at hand to have any sort of balance.

Sometimes we claim to take personal responsibility for something, quite noble and chilvarious, but those words mean nothing if we don't take action about it.

Sometimes we jump into the fray based on loyalty alone which causes nastiness and ugliness to flow from our mouths, that there is no room for wisdom or fairness to even have a chance.

Sometimes we're so sucked into our personal misery, that we can not truly see our part in it.

Either way, in any way, lives have been affected and that is no small thing in my book.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Happy Happy Monday

Good Morning! Mondays are good? Sometimes. Okay, who are you and what have you done with the Shroom? Uh..uh.. maybe she melted in yesterday's heat. Do shrooms melt? Damn straight they do, especially if you try immersing them in water. Why are we talking to ourself? Beats the hell out of me. No one else is up yet? Yer brain twaddled, know that? Oh yeah? Great come back.....

So, we'll just leave that portion of ourself to continue to amuse itself. One thing for sure, it is Monday and it's going to be another scorcher. I've been watching the temp since I got up. I have not a single clue as to why I am up so early. I've been up since 5 am. It means I am going to crash rather early this evening, I think. It is suppose to climb to 112 today. Ooo, a drop in a degree from yesterday. So far, it's almost 8 am and 78 degrees. It may not get as hot today. Yesterday at 7:30 am it was already a whopping 83 degrees. So, crossing my fingers, it may mean a slightly cooler day. Maybe I'll go make bread. Yeah. Something soothing in pounding and kneading dough and in the end, ripping it apart with my teeth. Therapeutic.

Got nails done yesterday with Daughter. Then we went and had Chinese food at the Food Court in the Mall. Oh yeah, verily, I say unto ye.. Did you hear the ground rumble in disbelief? Yes, you read that right. I actually went into the mall. *shudder* I survived.*twitch*

So this is going to be short for me. I just wanted to check in. I have some work to do before the kids get here later this morning. I still haven't had coffee yet. I'm going to have to go and remedy that. I feel a headache coming on.

Create a good day for yourselves.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Bubbling Cauldrons

Well, to say my cauldron has been bubbling is putting it mildly. For the last three days I have made it my priority to stay off the net and focus my attention on my home life and my family. This grounds and centers me as nothing else can. Powerful stuff.

Do you remember that I mentioned before my enjoyment of reality shows, especially CBS' Big Brother Series? I enjoy it because I am fascinated by the human mind and emotions. Take 13 people and put them in a confined room where all they have to deal with is themselves and watch their reality, how they think, how they feel, change. I have found the same is true with the internet, in point, chat. For whatever reasons, many use chat to compensate for the lack of something else. There are those that use it merely as an escape from their reality. Either way, day after day, month after month, year after year, you get to know people as well as a cyber connection can allow and if you are honest about yourself and who you are, sometimes you make some really remarkable friends. When something becomes a focus over time, one gets caught up in it. Maybe not to the extension as some do, but nobody is immune, especially when you give it a great deal of your time and your energy. Can someone feel hurt, betrayal, anger through this medium? Of course they can and do. When something means so much to you, when you've given so much of yourself, all those things are possible. We all have the choice to walk away from the computer, from the internet but we can't or shouldn't from our families, from the reality that exists beyond the computer. Instead of becoming a valve to release some stress, it becomes too much of an influence on ourselves. Things get blown out of porportion so easily, overly sensitive sometimes. When that happens, it's time to surface, blow the hatch and let things go.

I bought the latest installment of Harry Potter Saturday and finished it a little while ago. Good book. Of course, I didn't expect anything less. Now I am dying to read the 7th installment and that is probably going to be awhile in coming. I hope she plans to write something else outside of Harry Potter. I would love to read what she does next.

Star Wars III, I enjoyed it. I found myself thoroughly immersed in the story and now all parts fit snuggly. It was a great bit of story writing. I came away from The Olive Garden stuffed to the gills! We had a great time.

It reached 113 degrees today. Here in California we still have to watch our electric useage. That damn 3 tier penalty thing is still in place and the electric bill can soar out of this world if one isn't careful. So staying cool is a pet project of mine these days until next weekend when they say it's suppose to cool down.It's suppose to go back into the 90's which will be a welcome. The nights will drop back into the 60's-70's which also will be good because I can leave my screen door locked and leave my solid door open so I can get the night breeze. It cools the house down in the wee hours of the morning. I can shut off the swamp cooler and let the ceiling fans work by themselves then.

Tomorrow is FB's court date. I'm getting the babies around noon. It's nerve wracking wondering what is going to happen. I do have a FB and Slinky update. FB got a phone call yesterday from a friend in Slinky's father's circle. Apparently Slinky and father went socializing and were bragging how they pulled one over on FB and Slinky was saying that the daughter didn't want to see FB, which the friend knew was untrue because she heard the girl say she wanted to see her daddy. At any rate, the friend is not happy and wants to know what is going on so she called another mutual friend, told her all this and that mutual friend is the one that called FB. So, FB is waiting to talk to this person and see if he can use this info, if she will make a statement to the court in regards to what was said to her by Slinky and her father and what the little one said.

Keeping Mr. M out of the heat. Our valley is filled with pollution. We have the rising heat and no winds to blow the polluted air out of the valley so levels are quite toxic at the moment and not good for anyone with congerstive heart problems. It's also been giving me a headache and making me feel ill. Hopefully a breeze will grace us soon.

I've been working on my writing. I just completed my goal of writing a story for the DoubleMoon site and I passed it on to be put up. We'll see if I have anything else left to write another before the year ends.

Well, the heat in the office is making me dizzy. Damn near fell off my chair. Now that's something new for me. *grin* So, I'm going to take the hint and get out of here. The phone line for the laptop is kaput so that will have to wait until tomorrow to get fixed so I can use the laptop in some sort of comfort.

Someone told me the other night... Go look at the moon... good choice.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Friday

It's Friday and I am truly looking forward to today because this is the day the hubby and I spend together to reconnect. Aside from a few errands we just have to see to today, we're spending it together, no kids, no mirc, just the two of us. Once a week, on Fridays, we use the day to reconnect with each other. It's nice. More than likely we'll have an early meal at Olive Garden and then scoot on over to see a movie. He really wants to see Star Wars on the big screen. I compromised. I wanted to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith but since I'm dragging him into the mayhem of Harry Potter tomorrow, the least I can do is graciously concede to his choice of movie. Besides, he buys me my own bag of popcorn minus all that salt and butter substitute *shudder*..and.. I drink diet Coke *the world is ending...I'm melting*. Oh well, nothing is perfect is it?

My smile for the day is that a good irc friend and his wife are now graced with a baby girl in their lives. She was born on the 13th. I took a moment to ponder how the Universe works. 15 years ago yesterday in a swift blink of the eye moment, I tragically experienced the passing of my mother. 15 years later, on the same day, another child is born into the world to grace lives with her presence and to someone I actually know. So, now, I have found something to smile about on that day, in this month. "Mom" is pretty astute, The Old Broad.

Create a good day.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Current Happenings In The Grove

Well, Mr M just got back from the V.A.Clinic where he had a sonogram done on his chest, the subject, his heart. His cardio doc came in while it was being done and wanted to see Mr. M in his office afterwards. The cardio doctor is concerned about something but is not willing to say more until he gets the chance to thoroughly examine the tests results from Nuclear Med and the results of this sonogram. He did say that he didn't think Mr. M's leaky mitro valve was the cause of Mr. M's chest pains. It was within acceptable levels. No, something else is going on here and it could well be the blockage that Mr. M has. The doc also said that cardio doctors do not like having to reopen a person's chest. Mr. M had that done when they went in before. He told Mr. M that he has the time to go over everything thoroughly before Mr. M's next appointment with him. I guess we'll find out then what we are dealing with. I don't have to tell you that my heart is racing and my mouth is dry when I think about all this. My mantra today has been, "Do not borrow trouble until trouble bothers you". I'm scared and I'm worried. The one good thing we noticed is that since Mr. M's heart medication has been upped (knock wood)he has not had any more of those serious chest pains that plagued him about a month and half ago. I am praying on my knees that the medication is doing the trick and Mr. M will not need further open heart surgery.

I just need to tend my home garden for now. Everything else is just petty bullshit.

The Saga of FB and The Slinky Continues

What has come to light is that the Slinky's attorney signed off on her case. In other words, he is in no way connected to this injunction of hers. She simply filed it herself and are you ready for this? She used almost verbatim, the same words, the same situation her ex-husband charged her with. Yes, the ex-husband (not FB. The last guy she was married to) got his divorce, got their daughter AND has a restraining order out on Slinky for fear that she will snatch and flee with their daughter. Something else Slinky doesn't know, her ex will be in that court room on Monday afternoon, with his legal paperwork, to support FB. I wonder if it will do any good? Mr M. just mailed a copy of FB's deposition to Slinky and FB filed this paperwork today with the court.

I have to hand it to FB, once he got it through his head that he was going to have to do this himself, he dug in. I give him a few extra points for doing so and a couple of extra thrown in because he said to Daughter, "I should have started this a couple of years ago." Daughter is ready to bean him and I'm thinking, 'better late than never'.

Monday afternoon is D-Day. We'll see what happens. FB is able to prove without a shadow of doubt that Slinky gave false statements to get her injunction. I sincerely hope the court takes a dim view of that and charges her with perjury. If the court doesn't, FB is going to look into it himself. He is tired of trying to be Mr. Nice Guy.

Finally, FB got to talk to his daughter for all of five minutes the other night. It was long enough for her to tell her daddy that mommy said that if daddy got her (the daughter) then she would not be allowed to talk or to see mommy for eight weeks. FB reassured his daughter that is not so and whoever is telling her this, shouldn't be. All he wants is to be able to spend time with her.

How does one ever come out justly with a pathological liar?

So, while Lady Justice is sometimes blind, her arm is long and I hope it is about time that FB gets his share of justice. We'll find out soon.

Thursday's Rant From The Grove

Oh my. Where shall I start? Well, here goes.

#Camelot. Yep. We're here again. As I sit here, my mind is whirling with so many emotions in connection with this channel and I have asked myself why over the last 6 months. I'm not sure I have come to many conclusions or answers. What I have concluded so far is this:

This channel was hurt. Badly. It has been ripped asunder and scattered to the winds. There is underlying anger, disappointment, hurt, resentment and sadness. If anyone who is involved or has been, thinks this is merely just another lull in down time, they are fooling themselves. Why do I say this? Because this time, it is a rift, not a lull and it has been caused by the above aforementioned emotions. That's the difference. It is not going to get better, it is not going to go away, until relationships are mended, IF they can be. If not, this stain is going to be stamped on each of us for a time to come. How does it heal? Quite honestly, I don't know. My writing partner and I have had discussions on this. We've thrown back and forth options, if you will. Call them options, ideas, whatever. A word being a word.

Last night I was quite willing to point fingers at every person, including myself and all because I am quite upset over this. Today, I realize that pointing fingers will do nothing more than recycle the anger and the pain. What I am going to do is state the following and to the people involved, take it or dismiss it. The choice is yours. All I can do is state what I know.

Yesterday, I received a copy of a log between the Admin and a Founder of the channel. I also received just below it a conversation held between another Founder and my partner. I can't say that 1+1 equates to 4. I have no proof one way or the other. I am not a stupid woman or an unaware one. I kinda figured the conclusion they wanted to draw and after reading from last night, I got that verification.

Here's what I know:

My partner, in the course of an email conversation between us, mentioned to me how much he missed his conversations with one of the channel founders. I encouraged him to contact this person. He said he did but it felt uncomfortable(my word not his) and he didn't want to bother this person. I know how much my partner cares about this person. I know how much the partner misses their conversations, so again, I encouraged him to contact this person via private message. My partner took up that encouragement. How else would one start a conversation you're not sure how to start except to use something in common? Camelot. Maybe not the best choice to use when trying to re-establish a communication, espcially in this case, given the circumstances, but he tried. My partner expressed his concerns, expressed that he felt the need to do something. Maybe using the word options was not a best choice either, but he's been spinning his wheels trying to come up with something to make it right again. Camelot was and is his heart, part of his soul. There are many 'perhaps'in here.You know the old saying about hindsight. I am not about to rehash those.

Hard on the heels of this trying to re-establish some sort of communication, came down this edict from the Admin. Because I have been out of the cauldron of emotions Camelot has risen, I could see that what she was asking was not unreasonable, especially if the Admin is trying to enforce these rules across the board and she had a point about the many channels that would pop up. Because hearts are still raw, aching and bleeding, everyone saw this as an attack to remove Camelot. But truthfully, tell me, what does it hurt to do as she asks? Is it a special hoop she is asking Camelot to jump through? According to Admin, it isn't. If there is no one in channel but the bots, the channel reverts to secret. If someone comes into channel, then the secret goes away. Now who does that hurt really? It actually just means there's no one in the channel to play with, so if an actual body is in there, then someone will know that and can come play. But apparently people don't see that. All they feel is threatened, are looking for a reason to be threatened. They're 'awful-izing'(I like that word).

So, what has this all done? It appears that conclusions have been drawn without direct proof that something is so. It appears that there is so much hurt, so much pain, so much anger, that instead of owning it, people are more than ready to quickly put the blame on someone simply to give it a foundation. Is there any truth to the matter? I simply do not know. In my heart I believe that my partner has been mulling over many thoughts, many ideas, many options that could be viable. Has he implemented or started anything? I doubt it simply because he hasn't finished thinking yet and he got called to Florida to help his parents and isn't home at this time.

So, is the edict by the Admin connected with the private message to one of the founders? Only in timing as far as I know, with the only proof I have.

What happened to Camelot, is not one person's doing. As I said before, as I will state again, it was the doing of us all in some capacity or another. Before someone starts stating that someone is using someone else for gain, I must point out that no one is free of this not even those left of Camelot. If you are going to point a finger, be sure you point that finger at yourselves as well. Like I said, no one is guilt free in this, no one.

One last thing on the matter. Last night something urged me to peek through the window of Camelot, which is not something I have done very often since the chasm opened up. Questions come to mind.

Why would anyone want to bring to a fresh clean slate, old emotions, old energies that are not healthy? Why not simply, with dignity, let go? By not letting go of something you no longer have use for, what makes one any better than the ones labeled as Whiners and Commplainers? What does it serve? Who does it serve? For truly, if you no longer have any use of it, why carry the extra baggage? All it does is weigh you down when you want to fly.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Sunday In The Grove

Okay, don't ask me how I do it, I don't know. I blame it on my bad back. It hasn't been the same since I gave birth to three kids and I think that 10 1/2 lb. number one son didn't help matters either.

Yesterday I was reaching up with my right hand and I could feel this 'zing' travel down my spine and lodge itself in my lower back. Misery. I refuse to lie around all day so it's been slow going. Sitting up is dang near impossible. Ever see a shroom snarl? It ain't pretty. I'm not snarling at people, just snarling at the situation.

I'm writing this from bed on the laptop. Joy. Not.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Another 'Get Fuzzy'

Meet Bucky from 'Get Fuzzy'

I don't know how many of you out there get this cartoon but you can see more of Bucky and Satchel here.You may also find some of your favorites listed there. "Get Fuzzy" was new cartoon our local paper started presenting and usually, I find the whole trio, Bucky (the cat), Satchel (the dog) and Robert(?)(the the young man owned by the animals), funny. I can always count on this strip for a smile. Sprout thinks the cat is on crack. Eh, the kid's sense of humor is different than mine. Of course this is the same kid who put a bumper sticker on the back of his car that reads, " Mom was on crack when she had me" hardly true, but he found it funny. Now he's into "Happy Bunny". For those of you who don't who or what Happy Bunny is, try Googling it. Basically he's a bunny with an attitude.

I have a few 'Get Fuzzy' strips to share along the way. Okay, so what else is new around The Grove... not a whole lot, I am happy to say. I'm babysitting today. FB and Daughter went to sort through their storage shed to see what they have in there they can do without for a yard sale tomorrow. It money is for the attorney fund.

OH! Gotta share. FB and Slinky Saga:

Yesterday FB goes to see another possible attorney for hire, only it turns out she can't take the case. Why? Conflict of interest. Slinky's attorney is apparently sleeping with this possible attorney for hire. FB goes to her office, starts duscssing the case and pulls out the injunction Slinky filed. That's how this woman attorney knew it was her boyfriend. She saw the letterhead of his firm. FB explains none of the information Slinky used to obtain the injunction is true. Lady Attorney suggests FB get subpoena for the Sheriff's Dept and the DA's office for an affidavit to prove that Slinky lied. Slinky could be charged with perjury. Now where's Slinky's attorney in all this? He wasn't even in the office when Slinky filed this. He was on vacation with Lady Attorney. Apparently someone in his office did it for Slinky. Can we say, "ut-oh"?

I think it finally sank into FB's head that he has to personally do something about this because he is not going to be able to retain a lawyer at this time. So, he is going to make an appointment with the Legal Aide, Family Meditator (something to that effect) to have them help him prep for this court appearance on the 18th. Also, he'll ask how to go about filing for the subpoena. You know, the young man has promise.If he'd just get his head out of dark places.

Cooler today in the Grove. I'm watching the news following Hurricane Dennis. I have friends in Florida and of course I know people who have loved ones there too. What makes it so scary is that this is a biggy. I still can't understand why anyone would want to live down there. I've lived in the panhnadle myself, not far from Pensicola. Nice place to visit, don't want to live there. Yeah, I know we have wild fires and earthquakes here. Don't see or feel too many earthquakes up this way. A grandfather's wisdom: Don't build next to the water, don't build near an earthquake fault and don't build near the edge of a cliff. Duh.

London: My heart and prayers go out to all those in this barbaric act of murder. Maybe the rest of the world will wake up and see how much these terrorists are wreaking havoc, not only in other countries, but in their own frontyards as well. It has to be stopped.

For that SOB who had that little girl and quite possibly killed her brother, I hope they put you in the general population of the prison. Save the state the chemicals. Dying so quickly and quietly is too good for you.

Reality TV: Big Brother debutted last night. This is going to get interesting to watch. The human psyche in a controlled environment.. yep. Interesting.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

The Day After

Well there's always one thing I can count on the day after a holiday, it sure does get quiet around the Grove. I'm not sure if that is due to the fact that their bellies still feel stuffed or if they've been stuffing them again. Either way, I'm grateful for the down time. I've been at the computer most of the day reworking our business web site. It still has more to be done, but I like the cleaner look.

Hot. About 103 was the predicted temp. for today and currently it is 102. I can see it easily climbing to that 103 mark. Funny thing I've noted and I mentioned it to Mr. M. I'm not sure when I started to notice it, but the heat use to reach its peak around noon, one o'clock. Now it is peaking around 3 pm or so. Interesting to note the change.

I sent Troll and Sprout out yesterday to handle a few things for me. Those two. They're comical and annoying at the same time. They have a relationship that cracks me up. Though they are in truth Uncle and Nephew, they carry on like brothers. There is not one thing, NOT ONE, that I send them out to do together in which they don't end up nipping at each other. They toss insults around at each other as if they were compliments. I've come to the conclusion that if I ever set them at something and they DON'T go after each other, something is seriously wrong. There are times they make things into a chaotic mess and I now back up, walk away and let them have at it. I go back into the house and vaguely hear them from there. I just shake my head. There are times I find it amusing to watch and listen to them, but for the most part, I just give out the instructions and let them get on with it. Hey, if it works, don't mess with it, right?

The status quo here in the Grove for today is quiet with a dash of sanity thrown in. Don't think I haven't snatched up that sanity and bottled it. I'm saving it for later..

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy Independence Day, America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refuted his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred. to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. --And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

--John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Sunday, July 03, 2005






I'm going to bed and heaven help any four-legged critter who barks in my ear, uses me for a springboard or uses my chest for a kneading board.

Okay, so in the beginning there was the hope that this day would prove to be fruitless. Yes, you read that right, fruitless. Instead it ended up with me chasing Troll's puppy around because I was going to fix that underbite of his for free. Damn mutt. He chewed through my phone line cord I use to plug into the internet with from my laptop. My nerves have been on the raw side all week. So, it didn't take much from "muttly" to set me off. The worse of it? Damn critter thought we were playing a chase game. The phone line was just the jam on the toast however. Last night that cowardly little chit just had to come charing into my room, plant his little furry arse right next to my side of the bed, where I was stretched out on my tummy watching tv and bark in my friggin' ear. He's quite loud too. Ten minutes later when Mr. M could pry me off the ceiling of our bedroom, I swear I had murder in my heart. Why was the mutt barking? There were coyotes out front. I guess he figured I'd protect him so he could safely bark at my side. *snort* He's damn lucky I didn't go hunting for an old spoon so I could remove certain parts of his anatomy for him,would have saved Troll a few bucks. Other than dealing with a furball that needs a dose of courage, it has been relatively quiet on the home front, hot, but quiet.

So, I have overcome. I puttered down to the local shopping center and got a new phone cord so I can use the laptop again. I dare that dog to come near the cord. it doesn't matter if I even put it out of his reach, he manages somehow to get it. The next time, I can't promise I won't drop a house on him..

Friday, July 01, 2005

Run, Run, Run

That's what I've been doing since Monday. I am hoping I can have a quiet three day weekend. Anyone want to take odds? 104 degree today and I was out in it. We accomplished a lot so, that's saying something. I got myself registered at the V.A. Clinic to be seen for routine stuff. The nice thing about that is the fact that if I went elsewhere and used my Champva, I would have a co-pay. But utilizing the V.A. Clinic, no co-pay and if I end up on medications, once I get into the system for medication by mail, again, no co-pay. The one thing I did learn is that once Medicare kicks in (age 64 I believe)then the clinic can no longer see me. Champva becomes a supplementary insurance and Medicare picks up the tab for most of the cost. Nice to know, but I still have a way to go yet. I'm just waiting on a letter from the V.A. assigning me a clinical team, a doctor and an appointment.

Now did you really think I could let you sneak away without telling you of the FB-Slinky Saga? You're not getting that lucky. Are you ready for this? It's a doozy. Well as we left off, FB was suppose to go pick his daughter up from a designated place. He waited for two hours in the heat and nothing, nada, no daughter, no ex-wife, no explanation... until they got home. There was a message on the answering machine from Slinky's step-mom saying not to bother going to pick up the daughter and if he wanted to know why, he could call the D.A's office. So, bright and early this morning, he did so. Slinky's attorney filed a temp. injunction giving her full custody of their daughter. FB can only see the daughter at the discretion of her mother AND it will be supervised visitation. I had my suspicions what it was about and I was correct. It seems Slinky is worried that FB is going to snatch their daughter and disappear. GIVE ME A FRIGGIN' BREAK HERE! Where is the man going to go with no money? His family is here. If slinky was so worried about FB running off with their daughter, then why in hell did Slinky let FB have the girl over the Memorial Day weekend? Something is stinky in Denmark. I am willing to bet all my stockings that Slinky's father is at the bottom of this. He has the money and money talks and he hates FB. Slinky has the same lawyer and the same judge that ruled against FB during his divorce. This is the same judge who issued this recent injunction. FB goes to court on the 18th. In the meantime, the kids are trying to sell what they can and rounding up what ever money they can so that FB can hire an attorney for the $3,000.00 retainer's fee the attorney is asking for. I'm not sure they're going to make it by the 18th. I have a feeling that Slinky's attorney is using this as a stall tactic. There's more to this than meets the eye and if anything, it's FB who's worried that Slinky will skip town. FB has to turn his eye to the fact that maybe he won't be able to secure an attorney by the 18th. He needs to make articulate and precise notes for the court date on the 18th. He needs to get some statements from people in her past that can and should cast doubts on her actions and her words. Again, we wait and see what happens. Oh yes.. and I asked why FB stood around for two hours after the designated time, in the heat, waiting for this woman to show up...answer: he was giving her the benefit of the doubt. My head hit my desk. When is he going to learn? Half the problem is everyone is giving her the benefit of the doubt and she's using them to get what she wants. He knows that and what does he do? The very same thing that he's griping about everyone else is doing.. ARUGH.

I have a headache. I'm not sure if it's from dealing with people OR from the heat. All I know for sure is that my head hurts. I'm going to go work on my Dark Towers web page.. suck down cold water and maybe I'll feel human again... maybe a late night swim in the pool...hmmmm.