Grove Report and FB Rant
Hell, I better get busy and update this thing before I get like Emerald *ducking* and the D-Man. Although, I have to say I am mildly suprised to see recent entries on their part.
Life around the Grove is trying to resettle in with new routines. So, there are adjustments to be made all around and a new learning curve on my part. I'm still struggling.
Daughter, as some of you know, has a host of health issues, physical and mental. We're learning that quite possibly the mental ones are due to *ta-da* stress, again, mental and physical. FB is of the mindset that since he goes to school full time and works in the evenings, that he can just come home and has no duty to help with things after all, Daughter is home all day, what the hell does she do? Well, most times, not a lot. She can't do dishes because of a skin condition (again, acquired through stress) even when she tries to use gloves, nuh-uh, no go. The girls, bless them, can't get the dishes clean though they do try from time to time. Daughter's house looks like a hurricane drove through it and it would make most people shudder to enter it. Her constant fear is that if she doesn't get it clean, they'll take her babies away from her. Things just don't get done, pile up and then it becomes so overwhelming, she can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. She's got FB screaming (and I do mean screaming) in one ear that he shouldn't have to clean house because, dammit, he's the man of the house and he goes to school and works. That must also mean that he can just dirty dishes and stick them in the sink or leave the leftovers on his plate and stash the plate somewhere on some pile of clothing in their bedroom or leave a half cup of coffee( with creamer) sit someplace and sour. He has every right to leave his clothing, his school stuff, his baseball stuff and every other sorted crap of his lying wherever he wants to, but he won't help his wife by taking out the garbage (which has sat there-full- for like three or four days) or taking a few minutes to run across the parking lot with the laundry and necessary cleaners. He wanted Shel to live with them (they both did) but he leaves it to Daughter to handle Shel unless Daughter gets up in his face about it. He seems to be distancing himself from Shel's whole adjustment thing simply because he doesn't want to deal with the stress.
Needless to say, I finally felt compelled to step in. I told Daughter I would come over two days a week and help her with her housework BUT FB was going to pay me to do so. They're getting m e cheap, $60.00 a week. If truth be known, I would have gladly volunteered my help but that since FB is part of the problem, I decided to hit him where it will get his attention, his pocketbook. I have already informed Daughter that if FB gets lazier or sloppier because of my help, he will not only get an earful from me, but I'll slap his pocketbook around even more. My intent is to help Daughter so she doesn't feel so overwhelmed and can actually feel like she is making some progress. I'll be handling three areas of her home, the kitchen, the diningroom and the livingroom. Once we've got the mess under control, I'll help her organize and toss crap out. FB is her worse enemy in that department. He simply can not comprehend that they need to downsize. His chief complaint is that Daughter always wants to throw out his stuff. What he fails to realize is, most of the crap is HIS stuff. he has thousands of papers from high school for goodness sake. He's holding on to a run down, broken down recliner, because his deceased mother gave it to him. I am as sentimental as one can get, but that's going overboard. Their house, in every nook and cranny is crammed with crap. If I throw it out, he isn't going to get in my face, not without me getting back in his. I am not u nreasonable but I am practical and some sure as hell has to be. All that clutter is causing such chaos.
The change was clearly visible after I left yesterday. The kitchen and the dining room were, for the most part, clutter free. What clutter is there will be sorted ou6t after we get the rest of the house cleaned up and functional. Still, one can feel the difference as soon as you enter that house. FB came hoem from school and told Daughter, " remind me to seriously kiss your mother's ass." *snort* Just pay up at the end of the week Junior and I'll be happy and if you make that kitchen into a pigpen before I get back again, I'll be in your ear.
I had the longest, most welcome conversation this past weekend with my Sistah. We touched on any number of tpoics incloujding her cancer. I wis with all my heart I could be there to hold her hand through this, but I am grateful for the Lady's Grace in giving her someone who can. I am not worried one bit a bout the outcome of this, because she will deal with it and deal with it in the manner she was raised with. She has terrific parents and she has learned a great deal from them. Whatever adversity comes her way, I know she will handle it. Love you, Sister Mine.
In the course of this month I was also able to touch basis with a very dear frioend of mine and it was wonderful to be able to sit and simply chat, catching each other up on his life and mine. That dosn't get to happen too much these past few months especially since we both are so busy with our lives and family. I also an eternally grateful that he walked this tech-less (computer) person through my computer trouble, damn passwords. Operator error, but he has a gift of not making me feel stupid. Thank you.
More than anything I miss not having the opportunity or the inclination to write. That's not to say that thoughts, ideas and scenerios aren't popping around inside my gray matter, because they always are. Hell not only do I hear them in my sleep but I see them act oujt like min i movies. Some might conclude I need some medication for this, but it's a maddness I wouldn't trade for the world. I think I have found a solution for some time to dedicate for writing. I'll just have to see if it pans out. I'm rooting for this winter in any case.
The VFW Post is still a constant source of change and undercurrents. When it gets on my nerves, I vanish *poof* and resurface when I want to. Still, I think I have some material there for a book. *grin*
So far, no further health problems to deal with. My blood pressure is good. My exercise routine could use a bit more discipline, and my blood sugars are great. It was never about dieting, but about education and the will to make changes. I found they aren't so hard or compromising to do once you understand what you're doing. My advice is, don't diet, make lifestyle changes and they don't have to be sacrificing either.
Mr M is doing okay, no word on those tests yet. He has to make a mental health appointment as he is trying to get his disability rating changed for his hearing and his PTSD. He further needs to make an appointment his doctor. His nitro patches are leaving a rash that lasts more than a few days. That needs to be checked out. Other than that, no borrowing trouble until it knocks on our door.
So there you have it, in a nutshell, from the Grove.
posted by Just Me @ 2:42 PM
